I feel like a failure. I am just so sick of pain, and doctors, and not being able to be the mom I want to be.. and having to work all the time and I feel like I never see my baby, and she cries every time I have to leave. I went back to work on Sunday and Lilly has literally spent every night at my moms this week because I work so damn early in the mornings. I see her for a few hours after work and have to bring her back to my mom so I don't have to rip her out of bed at 2 or 3 am to drop her off before work. Her dad works the same hours. One day it could be a meet time of 2am, the next 5:30, I never really know until I have my schedule but it's different everyday. I wish I could just stay home with my baby. 😭& my doctors could just do something to help the pain. I know I will eventrually have to have the big surgery I am terrified of but I don't know how we will survive financially if i have to take 6-8 months off work 💔