Could really use some support from other mamas tonight.
My oldest has struggled with being bullied since preschool & has had 3 different bullies this school year - that I know of. Every time he tells me about one, he says that he's got things under control & tells me not to worry even though he knows I will still worry because that is what I do when it comes to my kids.
Wednesday afternoon, I got a call that I hope nobody ever receives from their child's school. My 11 year old was pulled out of class to speak with the 6th grade counselor after letting a friend read a note he'd written to try to sort out emotions he had going on. The counselor would not fully disclose what was in the note and my son threw it away at school once he found himself having to put a verbal explanation to it. All she would tell me is that it started with "If you are reading this, I've died". The counselor wanted to know if he had shown any behavior changes at home as he was showing more anger and frustration at school according to two of his teachers.
My heart sank when I heard those words because I have lived with anxiety, PTSD, depression, & suicidal tendencies through his entire life. After the initial shock subsided a bit, I reached out to the Employee Assistance Program that my employer has as I'd been told by a close friend & peer that this program will cover the first 5 counseling sessions for the employee or a family member. The EAP group sprang into action & got me set up with the info I needed as soon as I finished explaining the situation. My son is covered & will begin speaking with a counselor on 6/6.
Every day since I learned of his struggle, I've asked how he's doing & received the response of "good". Tonight was the first time he opened up to me & confirmed that he's had urges to hurt himself & has been thinking a lot a/b what would happen if he wasn't around anymore. At that point, all I wanted to do was hug him & protect him from the world as he said his bullies have made it to where he doesn't feel that he should exist at school & that he dreads going to school every single day. Instead of going all mama bear, I told him that I can relate to how he is feeling & while I will do my very best not to pry, I will keep asking him daily how he's feeling. I asked that if he's not having a good day, he says so knowing that I won't pry & instead will simply ask if I can help make his day better.
Has anyone with older kids ever run into this extreme with bullying? I ask though I hope the answer is a resounding no.
Thanks for listening/reading! I appreciate your time & support.
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I'm so sorry your son is going thur this. Schools don't being bullied serious. I have a 6 year old with apraxia and he has been bullied his whole kindergarten year. You can call your state bored if the school system will not do anything. I learned you are your child's voice thur type school because they don't listen to kids. I will pray for your son and I'm Here if you need someone to talk to! @arivera64
My SIL also wanted to join me in raising hell w/his school for how little they've done to help stop the bullying even though it has been reported each time he's had a new bully.
@arivera64, I will. My SIL found out what was going on today & asked that I give him her contact info. She's in Washington state & is trained in Suicide Prevention for the Army. She also volunteered one of the men that report to her if he doesn't want to talk to her.
@arivera64, Thank you!!! Definitely appreciate it!
@boymama0908, I think we do. I know he's got some excitement coming up soon. His birthday is 6/3 & he's starting a 2 week College for Kids program on 6/12. He's been tested as part of an academic talent search & has the option to take classes outside of this 2 week program if he decides he is interested in them. I'll be checking in to the big brother program tonight since I won't be sleeping any time soon. lol
@danielswifey, Luckily the last day of school is 5/31, so he has 1 full day & one partial day left before he gets a few months off. I started working 3rd shift in April, so I know he'll be able to make his counseling appointments b/c I will be able to take him.
@artharp2015 you do what u need to do to keep him safe and don't listen to anyone else. Maybe it will be the best thing for him for now to be home with you while he gets some help from a counselor. when does summer vacation start where u live?
@boymama0908, I do have Facebook. I've been looking into different resources for him in case his dad (my ex) tries to convince him that counseling won't help. His dad already told me that I'm overreacting by having him see a counselor. Before tonight I figured I'd rather overreact & take action than not react & lose a child, ya know?
@danielswifey, I've been looking into it. I'll just have to get my ex on board with the idea when he thinks I'm overreacting by having our son see a counselor. 🙄
Have u thought about home schooling? even if its just while he goes through counseling.
@momof3cuties, Thanks! I've gotten the school board involved in the past & they ended up letting his principal go due to how she handled the situation.