Kinda stressing ladies and maybe I'm overthinking because I'm good at that, this is a LONG post so be aware. but my hubby just started this new job, he had to take one month of training classes before he would actually be put on a job site, but it's a good job none the less and it's Union which I'm very proud of, but anyways when I got my income taxes I paid a lot of my bills, paid off my credit card, paid 6 months of my cars insurance and things like that.l, well I had around 1,100 left and I told my hubby I would take care of the bills the month he was in training and give him a $100 bill to get him started on gas money, and he is using my car because it's a trip to get there and his truck isn't in the best shape, well in the middle of the month he got his income taxes and well to be quite honest instead of helping catch up on bills or paying anything off anything he just kinda blew it and I'm really upset because I stay at home and don't have a source of income and I thought that was the least he could do, well today I needed to get the oil changed in my car and it was $50 and normally I wouldn't care to pay it but he is the one driving it....and it's like I have to just keep throwing money around....and we also found out that he will be working Monday-Saturday so I won't hardly have any time with him, which isn't what we were told in the beginning, ok cool no big deal I can handle it I'll make the best of it BUT he wants another baby, well why would I want to stay at home raising two babies while you're out driving my car and basically getting a free ride while I'm stuck at home doing nothing, I really want to get a gym membership and just make myself feel good and have some me time at this point, and not make every decision in life based around him when I'm kinda a second thought in his life...how would you ladies feel?
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I feel you I'm actually in the same boat. He has my car. I'm now pregnant with #2 and I just told him, " yo mo fo, you need to get me a car now. There is no way I can do this without one." We can't afford it yet but we will hopefully by the end of summer. He's ran my car into the ground driving an hour to work everyday which is fine he's got a good job but if I didn't have family literally 5 mins away to help me out I would go nuts. They don't realize how restricting it is to have to wait to do you and wait for your turn with the car and you can only do certain stuff when they aren't busy. Drives me nuts but def talk to him sooner rather than later cause otherwise it will build up into some nasty resentment.
Try to take a break first I understand that it's hard to get out. But use public transportation and find a place for you to think it out and see how in a calmly way you can talk to your man. Do things calmly never blow up when you have all of theses feelings it will turn ugly and it's no good once you've done your thinking have a good chat with him about your feelings and concerns . See he's side as well all in balance. And #1 if your not ready for more don't have any. Enjoy more time with him however that is just protect yourself if that's not in your future planning. All will turn out good best of luck♡
@proudmomma7
Alot of the timesit is who they hang out with that make them act more selfish! I'm sorry you're going through this I know how it feels. If I were you I'd wait a while longer b4 becoming Pregnant bcus if he's being like this now, I could only imagine how it's going to be while pregnant. Worst feeling is being pregnant and ignored! Trust me, I know the feeling.... I'm living it now!
My husband and I lived together for a whole year before we got married. (I say this bc it helps figure eachother out before we decided to take it to the next step) When he decided to quit his job, and we were living together (this happened back in 2015) , I told him if he was going to do so, that I would take over finances since I was bringing in most of the income, & had a more realistic idea of how much money was coming in me how much was going out. Ever since, I've been in charge. Simply bc I'm better at it. Him not so much. He can get a paycheck and blow half of t within a day.aybe you guys should talk about balancing checks and where money needs to go before all else. Even if he is the only one working, (like in my situation now) he feels like he earned the right to spend money on himself. Which I agree, (bc he works hard to provide for his family yadayadayada) but all within reasonable limits. You guys should definitely try talking about it. Specially if he wants another kid. Unfortunately, sometimes we can't have it both ways. Hubby at home longer and money still coming in ☹️ I think about it too. Specially when sometimes he wants to go out just to grab a drink with his best friend or something. But at the end of the day I make sure to express myself fully, and help him understand my part too.
@michelle-, because his truck isn't running and he has to have a way to work BUT like I said my dad is trying help him out as much as possible but he isn't being realistic he wants a big gasser truck rather than something good on gas and I'm just sitting back like damn just appreciate him trying to help 🙄
Yes, you need to get out of the house for your sanity. I work from home so I have to make myself get out. Leave him home with the baby all day, he'll understand 😂. It's your car, why do you need a reason to use it?
@kambam, I hope so I really do we are getting married July 3rd and I really want to be in a good place and be excited and happy not worried about how we are going to make it or how I'm gonna get around
Your body, your choice ♀️
All you can do is voice your concerns and needs right now. Both of you. Maybe you can come to a conclusion and make some compromises.
@michelle-, I wish we would have something figured out it's annoying but yet he is mad I want birth control so I'm not sitting at home with no way to get anywhere hell I can't even go visit my mom or dad or have girl friends I'm going insane
I would not be happy. Both my husband and I are on our 2nd marriages and we decided early on that we would sit down every week to go over bills and money. Even when I didn't have income coming in after the baby. It was tough doing it at first but now we are on the same page.
@kambam, and I swear I think it's the guys he is around at work that's making him act this way he is trying to impress people all of a sudden
Thats frustrating! Vehicles come and go and if he wants another baby a truck isnt ideal anyway! Better to get a lil beater for work and save for a manly dad vehicle. Jeep or something. Smh. You shouldn't be left without a car when you have kids.
@eryka616, yeah and he said well "I bought you all that stuff for Mother's Day" which I love everything but literally only asked for a card and didn't get it, so I'm dishing out more money so he can get back and fourth in MY car that I paid both insurance and up keep and haven't drove it in a month or more, and @kambam, I thought so too, it'll be only Sunday's that he is home and I feel like he is upset about me wanting to use my own car or do my own thing when he is around a bunch of guys all day and I'm stuck at home and now will probably have to meet up with my ex to drop and pick up my daughter which I'm highly uncomfortable with anyways and how can I do that when he has my car all day? Also my dad was trying to help him get a vehicle and instead of just getting a little car good on gas he wants a big truck to impress whoever the hell I don't know but I'm not paying for gas in a truck too! He is being so selfish and I'm really annoyed but don't want to argue with him
That would upset me. I think if you make the commitment to try for another and keep staying home to raise tthem he should make the commitment to try and make things easier on you! Whether thats budgeting, or being there to help out more something!
@brittersweet83, that's what I'm saying! And he wants to get him a truck and instead of something good on gas then later when we aren't in debt get something nice it's like he just doesn't care about the money in dishing out and he is trying to impress somebody?! And I wish my family lived close in literally stuck at home with my daughter from 5:30am-6:00pm what if something happens?! And I feel like since the job he is getting makes good money the least he could do is help pay me back from all the money I've gave him and upkeep on the car even though he is the one driving in, and he had his income tax and he didn't pay anything?! He just blew it so now I'm giving him gas money AGAIN. I am boiling at this point