After suffering from some serious ppd after Abigail's birth I deleted this app. :/ I am not sure how much I will use it but the support from you ladies is great.

Abigail was born at 28 weeks after a long list of concerns and complications that started at week 5. I had a hard time believing we would make it until about week 24. I went in for a sonogram to follow up on her very small size only to deliver her that afternoon. When my husband made it to the hospital they told us in 30 minutes your baby will be here. We were terrified, we were graduating school the following week and moving cross country the following week. My house was completely packed and we were ready to go. We made the decision to stay here in Denver for another year so our baby had the best shot at survival and growth without interruption of a medical evacuation. At first it was hard to look at her and hold her. I went to the hospital simply to not be bugged about not seeming attached to my baby. By week 3 post delivery I was a complete mess, house hunting and recovering from a C section and a tubal ligation. In the heat of the moment we demanded I be sterilized because the thought of any more pain was horrifying and the doctors were so hesitant because the mentioned our baby may not even make it past delivery. Week 6 I had slipped into an endless abyss of just trying not to cry when I talked to anyone about anything. Out of haste and despair in the situation we found ourselves in I quit pumping and started smoking.

It has been the single most difficult situation I have ever been in but I am getting better and stronger just like my baby. We are getting close to bringing her home from the NICU to her forever home. I am trying to relactate and just focus on getting her bedroom ready for her in our new home... 3 blocks from our old one instead of 1600 miles away. Things are tough but looking up.