I have fallen so far into this depression I don't even recognize myself. It feels like I will never hit the bottom of this sadness, just a long free fall into the pain. I never realized I could feel like this, one day maybe the meds will work.

Is it wrong that I don't let the nurses and doctors slide if they are over 15 minutes late. If I'm over 10 minutes late they cancel me, I just don't get how 90% of these visits they are always behind... I made an appointment to be seen at a certain time.... not 45 minutes later and you are unprepared! Unbelievable.

Hey mom's, just taking it easy with Abigail today. It is our first day home together alone. She has been so sweet and sleepy... maybe it's because the devil possessed her from 330 am until 8 am, who knows. It has still been a very hard road to emotional recovery, I just feel sort of lost. Maybe all the time we will be spending together with mend these broken pieces. Its still been a pretty good day but I miss my husband.

We are so thankful my husband's mom, Teresa, came down from North Dakota. It was so much fun spending time with her. Its always hard when visitors have to leave.

Guess who made it home safely! ♡♡♡

Finally after a long journey to motherhood, we are bringing our preemie home tomorrow. I'm so proud of my baby! ♡

Finally a straight answer. Abigail should be coming home on Wednesday. 62 days in the NICU, mommy and daddy are ready for you beautiful Miss. Abigail. ♡♡♡

Feeling sad and out of it today. It seems so difficult to look at a pregnant woman. Unfortunately they are everywhere but I have a huge hole in my heart that I will never have that special time with my baby, that part is over and has been over for 9 agonizing weeks. Today is a sad day, I wish it had all been a bad dream and I woke up with her safe inside me. 😦

Abigail is 4.3 pounds now! What a big girl. 😍 She is ad lib feeding now, I can't believe any day could be her last at the NICU.

Been going all over town to find princess Abigail her going home outfit. It blows my mind no one sells preemie size and very few newborn outfits. Any suggestions where to look for a nice dress or outfit?