So a lot happened last night and this morning. He got here at a fairly decent time last night and we sat down and talked. I was weak and begged him to stay which didn't work. So I put up my wall and started to shield myself from the pain. We started talking about stuff and he informed me that him and his "friend" who is a girl were telling each other that they loved each other and after he moved out he wanted to start a relationship with her. So I told him that my 2yr old would not be coming to visit because I don't want her around this girl. She doesn't understand yet. I told him that coparenting with his job and schedule would be difficult because he works most weekends. So when I started to talk about putting up my shield and how I needed to be strong for the girls he told me to come sit by him. I did. He told me to not put up my shield and that he was torn. He wants his family but he also has feelings for her. I told him he can't have both. He had to choose . He chose us. He texted her and told her that he was going to try to make it work with me. We had sex twice last night and this morning. We get up today and he seems to be trying a little but he acts like someone died. Did I do the right thing by taking him back or should I just try and go out on my own?? He has been my rock, my shelter, and is the father of my children. We have been together for over 14yrs. I don't want to just throw all that away.
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@nmoreno, she was supposed to be my friend and then this happened. She was texting me asking how my kids were doing and all that kind of stuff. It's not that I don't want my youngest around her it's his work schedule that keeps me from wanting her there. My 13yr old is different because she can take care of herself but Squish can't.
If you love him let him go. If you see that it crushes him to stop talking to this girl he told you he has feelings for then let him go be with her. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't have feelings for you anyways. Its gonna be miserable. You're being kind of selfish by telling him you don't want your kid around her just so he'll stay with you. Is there some specific reason you dont like this girl?
@brookemmoore, thanks. I just keep praying for God to give me the strength to do what is needed.
In my own personal opinion, based on experience, you will never be happy with him after this regardless of whether he cut it off for real or not. The trust is gone and a marriage without trust does not work. It makes life miserable. I do wish you the best though. Only you can decide what's right
@bellesmomma, I'm just really struggling with whether or not I'm really doing the right thing. My youngest cried for almost 30 minutes when he left last night. I know sleeping with him so soon was rushing it but when he hugged me and said he was sorry for everything I still feel that spark. I just couldn't help myself but to have amazing sex lol. I just really wish I wasn't so in love with him anymore.
@dmm1976, me too. He doesn't want to go to therapy because he doesn't want someone to tell him how to raise his kids and how to be a husband. I know he loves me and his kids.
@beebaby, he had me write the text message to her from his phone breaking it off with her. He told me that he didn't sleep with her because he respected me more that to go that far. She also texted back this morning respecting his decision and that she was sorry for letting it get further than it should have. I'm not 100% sure if this is what I want now. I still so in love with him that to even think about all this sends me into a panic attack. He has been showing me today that he wants to make it work.
That's so hard, you guys have been together a long time. Can you get into counseling? I'd tell hubs that if he truly wants his family you will both have to go-to therapy to figure out why it all went South to begin with. Hugs. I hope he's serious.
@melamomma3 he does know that isn't what a therapist job is right? He has issues that he might not even know about. He should probably goto a session on his own first to see that therapy isn't about someone telling you how to live, it's about discovering yourself.