Mommies, I decided to be celibate until marriage on the 4th of April. It's always been on my mind since the "big day" but didn't do it cause I was 18 and needed the attention. Anyway, I got tired of feeling like I was losing a bit of myself every single time ( this year was the loudest I heard myself pleading for me to stop). Lots of books and meditation and prayer later, I did it. Needless to say every day I'm stronger, and I'm regaining my self respect. I'm not religious but I do believe in God's plan for each of us ( regardless of who you think God is). " what helped me stop is thinking that God had a great plan for my life, but because I showed no discipline in that area He gave me the silver plan. If someone can have discipline in this area regardless of the reason, he/she can have it in any area in life"- Davon Franklin " The Wait".

That sentence in the book shook me to the core. I have big dreams that I'm working towards one goal at a time. Due to my high drive I found myself focusing about the physical needs of my body as opposed to the mental and emotional needs I've been needing to address.

This is not an invitation to join me. We all make our choices based on where we are, but if you've experienced this self shame, doubt due to the lack of discipline with someone who would NOT commit to me officially, there's always another answer. It's hard believe meeeeee! I mea really hard but nothing is worth that peace of mind.