I'm honestly at my end right now. I'm feeling so disgusting as a women....I don't want to fe like…

I'm honestly at my end right now. I'm feeling so disgusting as a women....I don't want to fe like this but when your husband tells you another women has boosted his ego and makes him want to fuck.... like what the fuck how am I not suppose to act offended by it... he has been such a jerk lately he called me a pig like 3 days ago he says he didn't mean it but that shit fucking hurt. For a women you had a past with eating disorders and severe depression... I can't help but want to slip back into my old way. I'm feeling super depressed