Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

So... I went to the restroom this morning to find out I was gushing out blood. I called my doctors office went in, then they sent me to labor and delivery. Labor and delivery had me walk for an hour to see if I would dilate some more but I didn't. I'm still only 2cm. So now they are sending me home and I'm still bleeding. My QUESTION is.... Since when is it normal to gush out blood at 39 weeks???? I don't understand. 😓

Sad panda

Blah. I'm really sad about it, but we are moving to Washington state before the end of the year ???. My family lives there, and I went to part of high school there and we lived there for a couple years when our oldest was a baby. So it's not ALL bad. But...I'm still sad to leave my neighbors ????

I went to sleep cramping pretty bad I work up this morning to faint spotting and I’m still cramping a little I’m not sure if it could be implantation bleeding or what I don’t go to the doctor till the 14th....