I don't know how you manage to find time to clean the house, do laundry and cook. My boyfriend comes home from work and is huffing and puffing about cooking or doing anything around the house. He expects me to do stuff while I care for our new born..Pump, feed, burp, diaper change and put her to sleep.. like every 3 hour clock work. I get maybe 1.5 hr in-between cycle on a good day to do anything for me...Like shower, food, etc.
He makes me feel so bad when he comes home and says "what have you been doing all day today?? Anything??"
I do stuff around the house every day but it's not ALL done everyday. My efforts are not even noticed unless everything is done.
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Thanks for the tips. I will try them out. I hope things get easier like everyone says.
Sorry I just had to vent..I'm so not like this.
I'm sorry hun 🙁 unfortunately some guys just don't get it until way later. You could remind him that if he were single he'd have to be doing everything himself anyway, so the least he could do is give you some appreciation for trying. After all, you both agreed you'd be a stay at home mom. Not a stay at home maid.
I can give you a few things that I did while baby was only a few months old.
-We used only paper dishes and plastic wear for a while, so everything could just be thrown away. Less dish washing.
-when my husband got home from work, I had him shower and put his clothes right into the washer and I'd start it when it was full. No having to worry about carrying loads around. He folded his clothes, I did mine and baby's.
-we stayed in one or two rooms throughout the first few months and kept the doors shut to any others. We would keep the mess in one area so I wasn't overwhelmed with worrying about the whole house. (It's boring, but it works)
-when I did need to get everything done at once, I'd send the baby to a family member or friend on my husband's day off and make him help me.
Good luck! I hope you can work things out! You could always just break down crying in front of him and just drown him in all your stresses and make him feel guilty as hell 😂
Thanks ladies. I'm going to have to do that one day.. leave the baby with him. But I'm afraid to thought, he thinks he's a master of multitasking. He'll hold baby in one arm and does stuff around the house.. Showing off to me that I should multitask...My fear is hell hurt the baby by mistake. I don't care what he says after.. Like I didn't know or really sorry..i just don't risk baby over doing stuff around the house. It's insane. He just wants to prove his point.
Ugh...I feel emotionally hurt and belittled. 😔.. I've been such a strong woman all my life but now I feel cornered and criticized.
My husband was the exact same way. Even went as far to say his co workers thought I should be doing more. Um, why the f-- are you having this conversation with them anyway?
I then went out by myself on one of his days off, left him with the baby, came back about 6 hours later and started asking all his questions. "Why is the house a bigger mess? Why didn't you do any laundry? Why aren't the dishes you used today clean? You're hungry? Why didn't you make lunch for yourself? Why didn't you make dinner for both of us?"
He never complained again 🙄
That is just rude. If he were to try to do everything your doing I'm sure the house would look worse. Especially with a new baby who is feeding like clock work. Don't feel bad, it's hard for the first couple of months, I didn't really have it down till my baby was 3 months and still now I have trouble at times. He needs to realize that you don't just sit around and twiddle your thumbs, especially with breastfeeding and growth spurts. I know how you feel mama, your not alone! He actually gets off of work and you have a 24/7 job, baby comes first and always should, the house cleaning will come with time!
Men need to take a step in women shoes for awhile and see how it is especially with a newborn or toddler hell being pregnant for 40 wks