Feeling terribly guilty.. I've tried to hint to my mom throughout this pregnancy that I just want my fiancé with me in the delivery room, but she never picked up on the message. Yesterday, she said she needs to be there with me holding my hand while I push and I told her straight up, she was not going to be in the room. It broke her heart and she cried, and that hurt me. She keeps reminding me how upset she is and that I am in the wrong. Is she wrong to make me feel bad for my decision or am I wrong for not letting her in the room?
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@ciciham that makes sense then...just explain it aint personal that no one is going to be there but you and your man, hopefully she can get over it.
@mskandice, we've had parents at our ultrasounds, check ups, every single event that has to do with the baby and everyone talks about our daughter like she's theirs. We haven't had any space this entire time
@mskandice, this whole pregnancy everyone has made it about themselves. For once I just want it to be me, my fiancée, and our daughter. When it counts. I want to be our own family for a little bit before we let everyone else in again
Its your own personal choice, but is there a specific reason why? My mom and I dont even speak haven't for years, but my babygirl id be kinda hurt too if she didn't want me there.
You are not wrong. She's hurt because she's your mom, and wants to be there on the biggestest day of your life. But it's also the most vulnerable for you of your life so you need to do whatever makes you most comfortable because of how vulnerable you are in that situation. Personally I want my mom in the room and my boyfriend and my sister and best friend. So I will have 4 people in my room BUT if it comes down to it and I have to pick 3 people my boyfriend is staying and my sister is going and I know that hurts her but it's YOUR days not theirs. Just remember that and remind them you love them and it is not personal. If you have to step on a few toes to make yourself comfortable then you have too. Plus once that baby is out, your mom won't even remember she will just be so happy and loving.
No it's not wrong, but I loved my mom being in there with me it was my husband and mom. She didn't make me feel comfortable but just knowing I have 2 people I love right beside me helped a lot.
@ciciham yea ive seen self centered moms before n its not cool, an another idea if she chooses to jus ignore you u can always have say no visitation from anyone but SO an the hospital will turn the others away or u can specify her or anyone else specifically
My mom wasnt there fir my first born cause i was in a different state but i thank god she was ther for the second. . Uf ut wasnt fir her getting off wirk early and driving 39 min to get to me i wiuld have been akine cause my bf was at work.... she even cut the umbilical cord. And stayed with me till my bf came. But weathet u want her there is up ti u... everyone has a different relationship with their mom.
This is pretty much my exact same situation lol. My mom and I aren't really close because she hasn't been very involved in my life so its just going to be me and my husband. Don't let her make you feel bad!!! My mom does the same thing making things about her. This is YOUR time
@tired, very true, plus my mom and I aren't super close and I don't really think she'd make me feel any more comfortable. She has a tendency to make things about her
@ciciham yea I understand, an its like when alot of ppl are there the nurses an doc dont even know who to listen too then u may shut down because you cant talk over these loud mouths an get frustrated an possibly stress out during a time thats supposed to be happy an joyous
You're not wrong. Though as soon as it was time for my babies, I wished my mom was there. I had an emergency c section so I was freaking out! You seem to be ready and calm, so if that were me, I'd be fine with my husband.
@tired, everyone has been extremely involved in this pregnancy and it hasn't felt like something for just me and him. I just want these few hours to feel like a family, just us.
I dont like hurting ppls feelings either but i do realize if i dont hurt someones feelings im gonna end up in a jam
I dont think youre wrong I believe we are all adults an can make our own decisions about things in our life, maybe you wanna cry an have this special time with your SO an with her being there you wont be able to really be yourself because she may have you uncomfortable in some way, i didnt want anyone with me during that time either except my SO... she will get pass this "hopefully" an if not hey her its her issue ya know good luck huh an congratulations
I think its natural its the excitement of a baby, but for sure u need your own space and time.