Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

@itsamemario, you deleted your post before I could hit send but this is my comment: I don’t know if this answers your question but this is my answer.

My son is 7 and he knows race and color. Why? Because he himself comes from a family that is multi racial and because he has already experienced racism. I also believe as his mother it’s my job to teach him color and the cold hard truth about society. He knows what’s going on in this world. I’d be hurting him if I allowed him to blindly walk out...

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

So Dr has sent me in to do labs because I mentioned to him how itchy I’ve been these last couple of days. Any other moms gone through this before? He mentioned if something came up in my blood we’d have to do my section sooner than what it is scheduled for.