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shay
shay
Мама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого

Any advice on how to handle an overbearing mother in law? First, I want to explain I am so thankful my daughter will…

Any advice on how to handle an overbearing mother in law? First, I want to explain I am so thankful my daughter will have a loving grandmother in her life. My first marriage, where we had 3 boys together, my parents died when I was young and my ex husbands parents were not involved. I had wonderful grandparents and I'm thrilled my boys have her and now my daughter will, too. She is 75 years old. She was depressed, bored and lonely until we told her that we are pregnant. Although she has other grandchildren, she favors my husband out of all her children, so this baby is like extra special to her. She is no longer depressed. I think she is more excited than my husband and I combined. Our daughter has some health issues so we made the decision to cancel the nanny and my husband will stay home with the baby. I make more money and my career is exactly where I want it to be. I'm hoping to go back to work around 4 weeks. Again, I want this woman involved. I love seeing her this happy. But, how can I not crush her by making sure she realizes this is our baby and not hers? I don't want her to be here every single day while I'm at work taking over. My husband is completely aware and we are on the same page. With going back to work so soon, I am so scared my daughter will bond with her more than me. Plus, if she's there every single day, then what's the point of me being the sole bread winner with all that stress on my shoulders? Maybe my hormones are giving me new fears I never dreamed of, but I'm trying to be proactive. These issues could absolutely cause a strain in my marriage. We will already have the stress of a baby with special needs so I don't want to add more to our plate. Ok, I'm totally rambling. So any advice on how to make a mother in law feel welcome but know there are boundaries? She is extra sensitive and sitting down with her to have an open conversation won't go well. She takes things too personally. Thanks, ladies!

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shay0704

shayМама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого

@jhalsted1995, genius! Thank you!!

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monstermommax3

JasmineМама дочки-младенца

@shay0704, we did like two or three days a week, a few morning hours and a few evening hours and let people choose.

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shay0704

shayМама троих детей, ждёт четвёртого

@jhalsted1995, that is a GREAT idea. The last thing I want while I'm half asleep, in pajamas and dirty dishes piling up is a surprise knock on the door. Thank you!

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monstermommax3

JasmineМама дочки-младенца

I made a general announcement that when people wanted to stop by they had to schedule it ahead of time. I used the excuse of trying to get the baby on a schedule. I would give people blocks of two or three hours that they could visit. Some people were upset but it's worked so far.

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