Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

I broke down at my moms house today ... because of the debt we owe and Passover is coming and it’s a very expensive holiday ... it was just way too much .... my mom i guess told my brother that I’m suffering and he called me over and asked me why i didn’t just ask for help, and offered to help when i need it . And gave me basically 4K to help for the month and if i need more to ask ... now one thing about me , is that i will suffer silently and won’t ask for help.... I’ve always been that way. ...

Birth Plan Rant

I used to be all about getting an epidural, but after research and thinking about it more I want to have an unmedicated birth (this is my first baby). What annoys me is when I say that I'm going to TRY my hardest to have a natural and unmedicated birth people always feel the need to say that I'm crazy or that I'm going to change my mind when I get in that position. Or that epidurals are the best. I do realize that plans change, but why can't people be supportive and encouraging?

Natural Birth

Any moms out there given birth without meds? I have people asking me all the time if I'm going to get the epidural and I say no I will try my hardest not to. And some of them tell me that I will have in an get it, or they look at me like I'm crazy lol my sister in law, who is pregnant now with her first, told me there's no way I can do it without the epidural. She's getting the laughing gas.

I really really hate the fact that I got stretch marks on my boobs. And it kinda bothers me when mommas tell me they are something to be proud of because it's my baby tattoos or my proof I was growing a miracle...I'm pretty sure once my son is in this world with me HE will be the proof I grew a miracle inside me. I know they try to make me feel better about it but there really is nothing beautiful about stretch marks! No matter how you put it.