This is the only place I can talk about this and get advice. I've been with my fiance 2 years and we…

This is the only place I can talk about this and get advice. I've been with my fiance 2 years and we have two beautiful little boys. Before my fiance I dated a guy who I thought was the one for 3 years. He was the first guy I lived with and did so many firsts with him. I really did love him. He ended up getting another girl pregnant and hid it from me. He didn't tell me till he she was 5 months. Well a few days ago I saw him on instagram and decided to snoop out of curiosity. Well he's married and just had another baby with the same girl he cheated on me with. I have had the weirdest feeling in the pit of my stomach. As if overreacting betrayed in a way. I tell myself I don't love him. I keep wondering if I do love him still. I just can't let go of all the firsts we did together. He's just always in the back of my mind because we were together so long and did things I've never done with anyone else. I love my fiance and I love my family. I wouldn't change it for anything. It's just that in the back of mind I can't help but wonder what if, my ex and I did have our babies we miscarried, what if she was never involved, what if he still loved me. This has been on my mind and I feel guilty for thinking about these things. We have both moved on and it shouldn't matter but it somehow still does to me.