Why do I torture myself? I get triggered so fucking easily and I don't want to admit that it's not healthy. My MIL was watching a telenovela and the main character in the episode had bulimia. The emotions it stirred up led me to go look at self harm photos of cuts and scars and now I really want to cut or binge/purge or restrict. Or punch something.
Please don't give in! As someone who is recovering from anorexia, I understand completely how you feel. You just have to try your best not to give in to those disordered thoughts. Just remember that doing those things will only make you feel worse, they will not give you any comfort or peace of mind.