Talked to my bf about our future. He told me he doesn't want to have another baby for a while and can't handle me again if I got pregnant. I had no idea that is how he felt and I didn't know I was that much when pregnant. I want to be able to have another baby as soon as I can because I feel like it'll help me be stable again after losing Caroline. But he clearly doesn't want that. I found her ultrasound pictures today and broke down. Just looking at them and realizing she really isn't here hurts and knowing he doesn't want kids anytime soon, pains me.