So my fiance has a 5 yr old son from a previous marriage and this kid can be a handful and he has shown signs of jealousy toward his new unborn baby brother which will be my first baby. I feel overwhelmed at the thought of adjusting to life with a new baby in the home and I want time to adjust without his other son in the mix creating more anxiety for me. The arrangement we have now is 50/50 custody and we have him a week at a time and his mom is very flexible in the sense that she would be willing to keep him on our weeks if we asked her to. The problem is I don't think my fiance will go for that. Am I in the wrong for wanting some time alone with just the baby, my fiance and I til I get adjusted to being a new mom?
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there is not a problem, but his son is apart of the family and both kids will need all the parents attention.
I don't think you're wrong for your feelings! The only thing I would be worried about is his son's behavior/jealousy only getting worse because he won't get to be there in the beginning. To us adults it makes sense, but to a child he may feel more resentment towards you, his dad and the new baby.
I totally understand where ur coming from. Having a new baby can be a very tiring experience along and u want time as a family as well u don't want to throw a jealous child in the mix right away. Give ur selves time to adjust at home and get in a routine and such.
That makes me feel better. You're right, no matter how I try to explain it to my fiance he takes it like I'm just the evil step mom that wants to push his son aside. But I'm like this is all new to me, I don't know what it's like to have a newborn in the house depending solely on me. His son was 6 months old when I met him and his mom had pretty much full custody of him and we would only get him a few hours out of the week he wasn't allowed to stay the night til he was like 1 or so but even then it's different when it isn't your child, I guess I wasn't as involved. And yes I'm not gonna lie part of it is that I want my fiance to enjoy our new baby with me and focus on solely him for a little bit cause I know his son will end up taking all the attention when he comes back around. His son is jealous of me as it is and had made comments that show jealousy toward the baby too so I'm stressed. Not to mention he started wetting the bed every night since he found out we were gonna have a baby. I think it's to seek attention cause if I offer an incentive for him not to wet the bed he won't but only if we tell him he will get a reward or something.
I don't think your wrong wanting alone time but to single out his son is not fair. if his son was your son I bet you wouldn't do that no matter how bad or good he was. a family is family no matter how they come together. with that being said the kid needs some rules to follow! it's just my opinion don't get mad