9 days post partum.
I love my baby girl so much. I'm so happy she's here. But I have been really feeling like I can't do enough for her. Bad bc my mom has been helping me with everything bc my SO has to work during the day, I had an emergency csection and recovery has been rough. I cant jump up to get her when she cries, I can't bend over and pick her pacifier up or diaper etc, if I drop it. I can't lift her carseat into the van to buckle her in. I'm sleeping when she sleeps and sometimes awake bc the pain meds make me sleepy. Then by the time my SO gets home he wants to be all over her, and it makes me jealous a little bc although I'm home all day with her , I still feel like I don't get that bonding time with her other than when I nurse her. I'm also just really having a hard time adjusting bc my anxiety has been on edge about SIDS (No I don't need any advice on preventatives) my first born Khloe, last year passed at 3.5 weeks old from it. so I'm like checking to see if she's breathing randomly. Has anyone else been a stay at home mommy, and found it hard to feel like you're doing a good job? Or found it hard to not feel like youre just here to tAke care of the needs and your worth is zip once everything is done? my hormones are just all over the place nd of course this is day two of my SO And I arguing In the evening bc I'm emotional and he thinks I don't want him having time with Makenzie, that I want her to myself and it's really not that at all...i just want some time with her too, but am having trouble figuring out how to bond. and I don't want anyone really doing anything for her other than myself bc she's my baby...well, our baby. I'M SO OVER THIS AND CONFUSED 😣
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I had an emergency caesarean as well. I understand completely how you're feeling. It does get better. The more you try to get up and move and the more determined you are to be the best you can possibly be, the faster you will recover. I know it feels so impossible now. I know you feel so inadequate and alone. Try talking with your SO and tell him how you feel. You don't feel as though you are bonding with your baby yet, and I didn't either until mine was about two weeks old. I check her breathing every night too. But trust me, it really will get better. Be strong, mama. You are surrounded by people here that care for you and will listen when you need them to. We understand. We are here to help. Please, feel free to message me if you ever want to talk. We can get through this together.
I'm so incredibly sorry you went through that. I can totally understand why you'd be worried. But as far as not being able to jump up and get to her fast and bend down to pick things up, don't worry! I had a c section too and the first time he was wheeled in my room my SO at the time (has since bailed on us) had to run an errand and as soon as he left the baby started crying and I couldn't do anything about it 😭😭 I know it feels so useless but it's only temporary! Congrats on your little one
Thank you so so much ❤ @littlelamby