I know what I am going through is not normal. I never felt like this with my first baby but I did have the baby blues which is normal but I bounced back. I feel like my c section plays a part in this. I love my son and I would never do anything to my children or myself. But I do get upset or angry at little things. There's time where I can catch myself but tonight was not one of those times. My daughter didn't want to go to sleep and wanted to stay up past her bed time and was arguing with about going to bed and I snapped on her and was yelling at her. I made her cry and I had to walk away to breath. Then seeing her in tears because I yelled at her hurt my heart. I held her and cried and begged her to forgive me. She kissed my forehead and said it wasn't my fault. At that moment I realized I can't just hope I catch myself I need to speak to someone about this. I don't feel like one day I'll snap and hurt my kids I just can't live like this. Always irritated, mad, depressed and having hating myself. It's not healthy for me or my family. It takes a lot to admit that I need help