it's not up to him to pay, in Illinois they take it out if their checks @ciaramarie and he definitely has a job

I personally wouldn't do it. he shouldn't be resentful towards you. his dad is the one who hasn't tried. but I totally understand needing that money. But do you really think he will pay?

yes, my instincts say stay away, but I'm worried about my son having resentful feelings towards me when he wants to know where is his dad. also I kinda need the money smh parenting is so hard@ciaramarie what do u think I should do

they will still probably try to give him supervised visits. my ex almost killed me in front of my son who was 3 at that time. he is now almost six and I won't file for it because of that reason. I went through a domestic violence group and they told me and even cops told me it's not even worth it. And they told me that they dont think he would ever get visits by himself but he will most likely get supervised visits. So i never applied for it because I dont need his drama. I don't need his money. and I dont need him hurting my baby. trust your own instincts.

how did u get random testing, what's your visitation consist of @emkasting

Girl he sounds just like my baby's dad. He refuses to quit smoking even though he has to submit to random drug testing and he lives with his dad who is a giant pill head. I don't want my baby over there but just like you said it's my word against his.

now yes, I may be wrong for ignoring calls after that but I would feel better if an actual visitation order was done. my lawyer says I'm not breaking any laws by ignoring him this long. if there is no child support order and visitation order I don't owe him anything @allyk.xmommy @housfullofgrls and the pick up and drop off should be at the police station from now on so they can log and witness the time

yes, I don't have any proof unless they will drug test them. I tried to cooperate with him, he was getting the baby every Tuesday but wouldn't bring him back on time. all I asked was back before 8 pm which was bedtime. he was coming back at 11am or later and wouldn't answer the phone when I called to find out where they were. so I said fuck it and moved on@allyk.xmommy @housfullofgrls

@riahlala3, request a drug test. stress the environment is unsafe. if visitation is still psuhed, say you want it in a public place, like McDonald's or something.

Tell them he hasn't been involved, being any and all proof, tell the court you do not feel your child would be safe around them

@allyk.xmommy,

I would bring proof of the last time he had any time with his son. explain why you waited so long to file. and that you really don't want to allow visitation. but if visitation is necessary then allow one day with someone there to watched the visitation. it's not easy hun. at all.

the problem is he smokes weed all the time, and he lives with his mother that's a herion addict. don't want my son in an unsafe environment, but it's my word against his. how do I prove it @housfullofgrls

Do what u feel in ur heart is right. Sometimes a peace of mind and protecting ur child's feelings are more important than money. I had to make that decision as well. My daughters dad left when she was 10 months old. She's now 19. He's never seen her. I knew where he was and people kept telling me to go after him cuz in our divorce decree he was to pay 700 a month. I was 19 and struggling as a single mom but I knew I didn't want him to play with her emotions by coming to see her whenever he decided to be sober so I let it be. He owes $280,000 in back child support but I will never see a dime but I'm ok with that. Just advice from personal experience momma.

You do NOT have to allow visitation, if you prove he is unfit

Yes get child support. Yes.