How do you decide on custody of your kids when you know you need to get divorced and you want full custody yet you talked about always doing joint custody.
how can you decide what to do when you know if you ask for anything more then joint custody it will be a fight and might cause animosity anger and even him possibly saying it's a unforgivable action I did to him.
We all remember the high school drama...
Let's just say if I got full custody it would turn into a high school seen.
He is worse than that!!!
I don't know how to help him understand how close he is to losing me even getting him to listen to communicate.... Is like pulling teeth!
My husband is not a bad dad he's not a bad person he does have a lot of things issues going in his life that he has decided to put first other then trying and fighting and working on saving our marriage.
I have an eight-year-old daughter who has always been a daddy's girl! We just recently had a surprise and we have been blessed with a son he is seven weeks old.. Even when I was pregnant my husband was mostly disconnected he didn't shown a connection with his son when I was pregnant and when he was born he has had his moments then again I only speak and express what I observe and I feel I don't have proof or facts to back up these expressions I have!
My husband doesn't help financially with the kids he is staying with his mom he doesn't have the desire to even be saving money and paying bills he has a
Back injury so he gets Social Security disability which is only $700 a month but that is it and he can't keep a job down.
Once again I don't know 100% true but I believe he might be into gambling and has turned to things to numb out with. I do know that he drinks (drinking is not bad but we as adults need to drink responsibly) but he also is not being smart with his pain medication because he always runs out and he will also drinking alcohol with his medication.
What's really bad is I feel ashamed to even say this but he confessed when I confronted him and asked him why our daughter's ADHD pills we're slowly going away we are running out before the end of the month he did say that he was taking a few.
I told him this is something that is wrong and cannot be done I then told him that if he feels like he needs to get on some medication for his own mental health I would help him get into The right doctor... He agreed but missed his first appointment and asked me to reschedule it so we will see if he goes on Tuesday..
He has blocked me on Facebook will not post anything about me or include me even when we were together this was happening.
I am beginning to believe he is making a double life. Including not being honest because he's so unhappy with himself he might be creating stories that aren't true to have others think and believe he is a good Man hard-working man responsible he is hungry for others to be proud of him!! It hurts me to know that on Facebook their could be anything going on my therapist said anyone would question suspicion of hiding something... If anybody else was in my shoes she said they would feel the same way because blocking you from Facebook not allowing you to look at his page and always locking his phone so I can't see his Facebook she said it's simply opening suspicions. I Can't put my mind in there because when I do it's really hard to pull myself out of that place but I know I'm not in denial I know that it does open suspicion and it's very real!!
Lying or keeping secrets is more damaging I rather hear the truth and have a bruised heart and you lied to...
We have been married for nine years and we have had about seven separations our daughter is so hurt she is now putting her foot down she won't go spend the night with her dad. It breaks my heart she says she does not want to go back-and-forth and she loves school she said she cannot miss school.
I appreciate you reading my long novel I know that there are so many strong wonderful women out there that might have some comforting words, ideas someone that might even relate to a part of my story I don't want to break his heart and pull his kids away yet I feel he has broken our hearts and it's hurting and damaging my daughter and it will my son if I don't do something about it now I don't know what to do please please anybody could you talk to me?
I feel so lost and alone and confused and broken there are so many other things that I don't know about even and he'll say the most hurtful things to me he won't communicate he avoids talking he avoids me until he want something from me as I am speaking and writing this he is texting me and asking me for dirty pictures I don't send pictures I don't take or allow intimate pictures because being intimate is a very deep personal sensitive thing for me which is between two people when their face-to-face...
Sorry ladies I just need to vent I didn't have any intentions on this being so long I am going to end it now because I could keep going and going but I really would like to ask one more time to all these wonderful women if you read this and don't have a word you might be able to say to help me find a way to handle this possible custody thing may I ask you to please pray and ask God to help a friend me know what is the right thing to do thank you so much message me anytime if anyone of you need someone to talk to or even a friend.
Ps I am no perfect person it takes two people to make a relationship and two people could break it I struggle with mental health and I struggle with physical health issues and my emotions have weighed my marriage my husband has shown a lot of patience with me and getting into the right treatment and therapy for some reason now that I am getting better I am receiving the right kind of treatment and getting the right kind of help. It has opened up his eyes on truly recognizing he has stuff to work on also and after years of saying if only I got better are marriage would be just fine it now has surfaced saying that he needs to do his part in order for it to work....
It's 4 AM I am up nursing I am so tired I dose off but then I'll wake myself back up!!!!
Hugs to all
Thanks😊
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also don't feel bad for wanting to have full custody...do what's in the best interest of the children...if his behavior is erratic and impulsive, you don't know what kind of situation he would put your kids in...especially people with gambling or drug addictions---their priorities are much different when theyre under duress... at one point before, i also told my baby daddy he could be involved in our son's life once he's born but after much thought, i've decided against it...there isn't a single good trait in that man that i would want my son to EVER embody...he's a thief, manipulator, sociopath & a compulsive liar & i know it's best for my son to never meet him than to potentially allow it and then later on down the road, he just disappears back into heroin...i dont know what i ever saw in him 😓 it's so embarrassing to say i even got pregnant by him but he really deceived me and my family like you wouldnt believe.he told us everyone in his family(mom,dad,& sibling) was dead and so he was alone...i did alot of research after his stories weren't adding up and through my digging, I found them all alive and well(that sickens me to death). i refuse to let my child be hurt when i know the cycle is inevitable. best for me to cut all ties now especially with someone who can "freestyle" elaborate lies like he did. all in all, my new supportive bf wants to be the father of my unborn child now and he calls him our little boy already...he's just an absolute blessing and a breath of fresh air! my healthy relationship now is so far removed from what im used to...
i read every word and I hope you're feeling alright...im sorry youre going through that...i went through the same with my baby's father(he had 4 different FB accts that i found out about and he posted pics of him and his side gf on there...) he had deleted our baby's ultrasound pics from his phone and there wasnt a single picture of him and i anymore on any of his social accts yet we were still together...i put my foot down and distanced my heart for my sanity and my happiness...since we separated in February, i met an amaaazing man whom im deeply in love with and i know you will reach that point in your life as well...there is sooo much better out there when you open your eyes and have the strength to walk away from anything or anyone that is detrimental to you...i chose to be happy therefore i am and i no longer have to play detective in my new relationship. I'm actually grateful that my baby daddy deceived me and cheated on me because i found the love of my life because of it!! (i found out about at least 4 other women that my BD had cheated on me with in the span of one month and yes i was already pregnant when i realized what he had done) Also, he relapsed into shooting up heroin again less than a month after we found out we were expecting...he's repulsive to me now and we have NO contact...he's currently in prison until November and i know he wants to have some custody of our son but I'll be fighting til the death of me to ensure that doesn't happen...he's a horrible person and i refuse to make excuses for his actions any longer. stay strong mama and message me whenever you'd like ❤ it gets easier...when you find real love, it shouldn't be hard at all...love is effortless and should come naturally. when you start playing detective, it's time to move on...🙏
i added some more stuff to my second comment that i remembered... lol sorry for the loooong responses