A miscarriage is one of the top fears of pregnancy and motherhood. One minute you’re so excited with the life growing in…
A miscarriage is one of the top fears of pregnancy and motherhood. One minute you’re so excited with the life growing in you, and then suddenly you feel as if your whole world has ended and that you have somehow failed. You blame yourself or fall into a depression. 😢
We asked moms in the mom.life app, a supportive social network for moms, what advice they had for women who have gone through a miscarriage Here are 21 tips and real stories of courage and strength after a miscarriage. 💪🏽
“ I had three miscarriages and was worried we would never have kids I went into a depression to where nothing made me happy I told my hubby to quit wasting his time with me and go find another woman he could have kids with he said no I love you and that's all that matters we gave up trying and six years and three miscarriages later we are close to having our rainbow baby... so mom's or TTC women don't give up if it's meant to be it will happen...”
“What helped me after my miscarriage really was being alone. My husband was more relieved that I could go on with my surgery now, which truth be told, hurt my feelings since it seemed like he didn't really care the baby was gone. He had told me, we could always have more kids, but he could never have another me. My sisters and mom all wanted to mourn with me, but I needed my time to figure out how I felt about losing my baby at only 5 weeks. I would sit in the tub and just listen to worship music and pray for some kind of comfort or explanation. It wasn't until then that I realized that I was in the middle of making a hard decision about my next brain surgery. My body needed to be at its healthiest to have a baby. Now here I am, a year and 1-month post brain operation, and 31 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. There isn't any one right way to mourn the loss of a little baby, just find what works for you and don't worry about what other people say. You're the one going through the loss, not them.”
”I had a miscarriage and I didn't cope well at first. I'm not gonna get into detail but I went to my lowest place. Someone asked me if I had a loved one in heaven I said well my boyfriend’s dad just passed away in April, and she said then think of it this way, there is a reason you couldn't carry the baby but think of it this way your boyfriend’s dad is raising your baby as his own and doing everything you couldn't for the baby. That helped me cope a lot. Also I wrote a letter to my baby. It took me 2 weeks to write this letter. I took my time made sure everything was spelled correctly sentences were correct everything told the baby what I was looking forward to doing (I went into detail) when she was born, what I was scared of etc.”
“ I went to therapy. She was a very nice woman from Peru. The way I like therapy to go is to feel like I'm talking to a friend, I like feedback. Some LIMHP will just sit there like you're talking to a door. Don't go to those. Keep looking for a therapist that will help you through this ordeal. And whatever you do, don't shut people out unless they're bringing in negativity. ”
”Some say that when you miscarry the babies soul says I am not ready. So, when they are ready they come back to be born again. I have had someone tell me that sometimes the baby wanted to change gender. But it is the same spirit wanting to be born. My mother had lost a set of twins. Then she had me and my sister. Maybe the lost twins are me and my sister? We just figured mom was not ready for 2 at once? maybe? I believe the baby you lost wasn't ready and chose to come back at a later date.”
”I had a miscarriage and a had to give birth at 20 weeks due to nonimmune hydrops fetalis. This pregnancy was really difficult from the very beginning, but I was hoping for the best. I know a lot of women after such stories break down emotionally and have to take pills to cope with depression, but I tried to cope myself. We travelled with my husband to another country (both of the times) we visited a lot of saint places in Georgia, there are cathedrals that are 2000 years old. I felt really calm there. 7 months have passed, and I am 5 weeks pregnant! We try not to get overexcited with my husband, because for me pregnancy is not a positive period, but nerve wracking. I try to stay positive, but I will accept anything that happens, and if not then we'll continue trying with our first healthy and born baby!) But I pray to God to make this time happen!!! Stay positive and believe.”
”Sharing the news. I felt so much more supported and it was shocking how many others had experienced the same, but in silence. Being able to be open about my miscarriage made it much more bearable.”
"I have pcos. Metformin helped me a ton!”
“Having a miscarriage is the most painful experience. Stay strong, don't give up. Talking to my husband and to friends really helped me process what happened. Accept help from those around you that love you. Keep trying because your time will come.”
“After my miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I was devastated. It's important to give yourself time to grieve. Don't be afraid to talk to people about it if that's what you need. I cried every day for two weeks. I always had my husband and my mom to talk to when I was upset. When you're ready to conceive again, just relax. It's hard not to feel scared or worry it will happen again. Just remain positive, take your prenatal vitamins, and take care of yourself. Don't ever be afraid to reach out for help.”
“I miscarried at 11 weeks. I'm now 16 weeks along with my rainbow baby and everything is going great so far. Don't ever give up hope. Don't ever blame yourself.”
“When I had my miscarriage it was the worse feeling I had ever felt... My husband was really supportive because I was extremely sad... Eventually I just started focusing on myself.. As bad as I wanted another baby, I tried focusing on myself to get my mind out of it and just kept calm because I knew God will send me the next baby at the right time...7months later I am pregnant again and extremely happy😊”
“Having lost our first babe was very scary and discouraging. I probably wouldn't have gotten through it as well as I did without my husband. His emotional support, moral support, and physical presence was amazing. I cried for probably a day and a half and then a peace came over me. He'd keep telling me ‘You did nothing wrong, these things just happen..’ And he's right. Having faith in God also helped tremendously. We gave our sorrows to God and moved forward. Dwelling on what has already happened will get you nowhere. You just have to let go and let God. 👐💟 Now currently pregnant with a precious little girl due in November! We are beyond blessed and wouldn't have gotten this far without each other and the Lord. The miscarriage made our marriage so much stronger and filled with so much more compassion and love than I could ever imagine. Strong partners and strong faith are my advice. As well as giving yourself time to heal mentally and physically after a MC.”
“I know it's hard, but it is possible. Pray,pray,pray! Keep your heads up and never stop believing.”
“Find someone that you can talk to and pray and just relax when you having sex don't stress or think about just making a baby have fun and enjoy the love you and your partner share.”
“I had an ectopic at 26 ...did some research on alternative ways to get rid of the scared tissue in my tubes ... ran across an enzyme called serrepetase don't think I spelled it right... when I started to ttc again which was November-December of last year .. took it for two months and plus my multivitamin... Was prego by January baby was in my uterus this time 😁 I was so happy and shocked that it worked .... but unfortunately that ended in a m/s... my doctor said I could try again after I stopped bleeding .... and low and behold got pregnant weeks after... and now 30weeks”
"Honestly nothing has helped me recover I don't think I ever will. ”
“ I had 4 miscarriages. What finally helped me was taking prenatal vitamins with an extra dose of folic acid with 1 baby aspirin a day when ttc. I’m not 29 weeks pregnant with a lil girl. I took progesterone up til 14 weeks and I will take everything else until labor.”
“I had 3 miscarriages in 12 months. It was tough. Each one was different so they couldn't explain why it was happening. I leaned on my husband a lot. He was a great support. Just when I had given up hope we got pregnant again. Just let weeks after my last miscarriage. Now I have this beautiful little dude.”
“ I joined a support group online which really helped me to vent when I just wanted an outside shoulder to cry on. My fiancé was comforting as well, but sometimes it's nice just talking to other women who have been through it. As far as conceiving after, I allowed my body the 3 months my doctor recommended to heal and reset itself, so I'd have heathy eggs when I tried again. I also used clear blue advanced ovulation test strips and the fertility friend app. Without those two things I don't know how much time i would have wasted. Together, it helped me conceive in 2 cycles!”
“The support from my husband made the most difference. Just having him there and listening when I needed to cry and talk about my feelings worked wonders. I was able to Grieve in a healthy way and try to understand why this happened. Although I will never get over the losses of my angel babies, I never gave up. I was determined to have a child. If I had given up because of pain I wouldn't have my daughter today or be pregnant with my second child. God was also my strength. Although it hurt, I had to tell myself god had a plan and I had to accept what it was even if I didn't like it. With time, it got easier to handle. It's a process. My heart will never be the same and I will never forget. It made me a better mom in the end because I had to fight to have a child. I appreciate the chance to be a mom. I pray for everyone who knows this type of loss. There's no words to explain what it feels like.... I didn’t try anything special other than not preventing. I put it in God's hands an accepted any outcome. ❤❤”
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