in 3 days it's my birthday. The first time I felt like I don't deserve anything; I don't deserve treats, presents or anything... I still feel I failed my family, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mum, myself and most of all Melody. It's been rough since my family came here to visit me and I broke the news to them and they were devastated about Melody's death. As much as they wanted the child to live, they understood what I'm going through.