Ladies,

This mama needs prayers, good vibes, and some major guidence right now. Although 7 months pregnant and all is well with Lilly as most of you know hubby has cancer. It's really starting to negatively affect him and his emotions and he is starting to want to give up on treatment. I know it is his overall decision, but it scares me to think he may give up. Without Chemotherapy they already told us it will spread quickly due to it being a form of cancer that can multiply extremely fast. I have been praying non stop lately, I just hate watching him cry and know I can't fix his problem and pain. He is my stronghold and always has been and now he's so weak. It terrifies me. I have had to be super strong these last 2 and 1/2 months and I just want to break down and cry. I thought that is expecting our little girl and having our amazing 4 year old would help him push harder and not want to give up, but he's at a breaking point and watching him disintegrate in front of me is breaking me. I keep reminding him he needs to do this and that he's not in this alone, but I feel like he is shutting me out. Going on leave in August can't get here fast enough so that I can help him more and our son will be in preschool 3 days a week and Lilly will be here. Time just needs to go a little quicker. I'm so scared that if he stops I will loss him and after 9 years and 2 children I don't know what I would do without him. I don't really know life without him.