Song for my Melody

24th June 2016

This compilation of song lyrics that I have personally picked is a message to my dear Melody, from the day I knew about her existence, how she made me into a happier person to the day she left me broken hearted. It’s a long message but it’s what I wanted to tell her if she could hear….

There were bells on a hill, but I never heard them ringing, till there was you. There were birds in the sky, but I never saw them winging till there was you. There was Love all around, but I never heard it singing till there was you…

Day after day I must face a world of strangers, where I don't belong, I'm not that strong. It's nice to know that there's someone I can turn to, who will always care, you're always there. So many times when the city seems to be without a friendly face and it’s a lonely place. It's nice to know that you'll be there if I need you, and you'll always make me smile and it's all worthwhile. You touch me and I end up singing, all my troubles seem to up and disappear. You touch me with the love you're bringing and I can't really lose when you're near, my Love. If everyone in my life have forgotten half their promises, they're not unkind, just hard to find. One look at you and I know that I could learn to live without the rest, I found the best… When there's no getting over that rainbow, when my smallest of dreams won't come true. I can take all the madness the world has to give, but I already knew then I won't last a day without you.

The very thought of you makes my heart sing, like an April breeze on the wings of spring. And you appear in all your splendour, my one and only Love…The shadows fall and spread their mystic charms, in the hush of nights while you’re in my arms, I feel your kicks, so gentle yet so strong…You’re my one and only Love. You fill my heart with such desire, every kick you give sets my soul on fire. I give myself in sweet surrender, you are my one and only Love.

And all my life I have been waiting for just one child, I have been waiting for all the joy of having

Someone that I can call my own, who’ll come to my side when I am all alone. And now you are here and I have found a whole new world has opened for me a world filled with joy, a world filled with your Love eternally…I don’t mind work and slave the whole day through if I could hurry home to you, because you brought a new kind of love to me.

I gave you all my love, that’s all I can do. And if you saw my love, I’m sure you’d love me too…A love like ours could never die, as long as I have you near me. I hadn’t anyone till you, I was a lonely one till you. I used to lie awake and wonder, if there could be someone in this wide world made just for me…and now I see I have to save my love for you. I never gave all my love till you, I hadn’t anyone till you. Because you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when the sky is grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don’t take my sunshine away. The other night, my dear as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I awoke, my dear, I was mistaken, and I hung my head and cried. I’ll always love you and make you happy, if you will only say the same. You told me once in your own way, that you really loved me and I knew then, no one else could come in between. But now you’ve left me, oh please don’t take my Sunshine away.

There are photographs I wanted to take, things I wanted to show you, sing sweet lullabies and wipe your teary eyes. Who could love you like this? People say that I am brave, but I am not. Truth is I’m barely hanging on, but there’s a greater story, written long after I had you…So I will carry you, while your heart beats here with me, long beyond the empty cradle and through the coming years I will carry you all my life…

Any day now, I will hear you say ‘Goodbye Mummy’ and you’ll be on your way. Any day now, I’ll be all alone and you won’t be around. I shouldn’t want to keep you if you don’t want to stay and until you’re gone forever, I’ll be holding on for dear life, holding on to you this way as I beg you to stay. Any day now, you won’t be around, and love will let me down.

Baby, it’s you that touches my heart. Baby, it’s the way you left me that tears me apart. Many, many nights go by I sit alone at home and I cry over you and I thought to myself ‘What can I do?’. I can’t help myself, ‘cause it’s you, you are my Baby…There are many crazy things that will keep me loving you; the way you kick me and move inside me, the way you said Hello when I saw you on the ultrasound screen. The way you wave your little fingers inside me, the way you make me sing all day long, the way you appear in my dreams. The memory of all that, they can’t take that away from me. We may never meet again, on that bumpy road to Love. Still, I’ll always keep the memory of you.

You’re like the daughter I’ve always wanted if life had granted you a chance. The summers die one by one, how soon they fly on and on. And then I will be old and eventually gone.

“Please bring Melody peace, bring her joy”. You are still so young; you are only a baby girl. “Life can take, life can give. But please let Melody be, let her live. And if I die, let me die. But please let her live so she can be brought home to me…”

Melody, are you near me? Can you hear me? Can you help me not be afraid? Looking at the skies, I seem to see a million eyes? Which ones are yours, Melody? Where are you now that yesterday has waved goodbye and closed its doors? The night is so much darker, the wind is so much colder, the world I see is so much bigger, now that I am alone.Melody, please forgive me… can you hear me crying or anything I’m saying? Melody, I wish you know how much I love you, how I much need you, how much I miss you kicking me to say Goodnight.

You were once my companion; you were all that mattered. You were once my strength and my daughter. Then my world was shattered. Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near. Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed somehow you would be here. Wishing I could hear your heartbeat again knowing that I never would. Dreaming of you won’t help me to do all that you dreamed I could. Too many days fighting back tears, why can’t the past just die? Knowing we must say Goodbye, please give me the strength to try. Help me say Goodbye.

Melody, when you were with me, everything was beautiful. Every hour spent together, lives within my heart. And when I was sad, you were there to dry my tears. And when I was happy, so were you… Through the spring and summer, we just had each other. Just you and I together, like it was meant to be. And when I was lonely, you were there to comfort me, and I knew then that you loved me too.

I can’t forget the day we met how bright the stars above were. That precious memory lingers yet when you declared your love. Then you went away and now each night and day I wonder why you keep me waiting Melody. I wonder when bluebirds are singing, will you come back to me again? I wonder if I keep on wishing, will our dreams be the same? Baby, won’t you please come home? ‘Cause your mummy’s all alone. I have tried in vain, to never ever call your name again. When you left you broke my heart, because I never thought we’d part. Every hour of the day you will hear me say ‘Baby come home’

Just today, I saw you, Melody, and it took me back to those days. You still move me like you ever did, when you kicked me with your feet that way, you still take my breath away. Do I really have to say how much I want you? Just when I thought I was doing alright and sleeping away almost half of the night, who was the last one I needed to see, just when I had most of my broken heart put back together to make a new start? Now I have to forget starting over because I’m still not over you. I remember the first time I laid my eyes on you, I’ve been in love with you for a long time and I’m still in love with you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

This love of mine goes on and on, though life is empty since the day you were gone. You’re always on my mind, though out of sight. It’s so lonesome through the day, and even more so through the night. I cry my heart out it’s bound to break and since nothing matters anymore, let it break. I ask myself time and again, what’s to become of it, this love of mine.

This is what I wish I had told you Melody, long before you left me…

“Melody, you were just a small bump unborn, in three months you’ll be brought to life. You might be left with my hair, but you’ll always have your father’s lips. I’ll hold your body in my hands be as gentle as I can and now your scan on my unmade plans. Small bump, in three months you’ll be brought to life and if you’re not inside me, I’ll put my future in you. You are my one and only. You can wrap your fingers around my thumb and hold me tight and my darling, you’ll be alright. You can lie with me, with your tiny feet when you’re half asleep. I’ll leave you be right in front of me for a couple of weeks so I can keep you safe.”

That was what I thought would be our future…. You were just a small bump, for six months then torn from life. You were just a small bump that everyone will forget about in matter of days to months, but mummy will never forget about you or how amazing you were. Your name and memories are etched on my heart and forever they will stay. We were both bonded by Love and that love will never die, not from mummy...