Just had a conversation with Dereks mother. I have lost all respect for her. How are you going to put so much stress and guilt on me while I am pregnant with your grandson knowing that upsetting and stressing me out can indeed harm your grandson? I am done being guilt tripped. I have not had real feelings for him for months I have been lying to everyone. I have been lying to myself trying to force myself to find the feelings that my head thought I was suppose to have since we were together and having a kid together. Admitting to it has made me feel relieved. I feel like I have had a weight lifted off my sholders. I honestly never ment to hurt anyone but I was hurting myself more and more by going with a guilt trip. I feel like I was being forced to name him after his father just because his parents named him after his father. At the time I was tired of fighting and I just wanted to make Derek happy well guess what I can not remember a time that Derek has done anything to make me happy. He admits he never wanted our son and that he is being forced to be a father. To me if you ever say you do not want your child you dont even deserve to be in that childs life. I am not cold hearted but if they keep it up I will become cold hearted. I am not asking for anything from them. If they want everything back then they can have everything they bought back. I will never let them hold that over my head. I can and will raise my son on my own if I have to I am not scared to do so.