Mom.life
rgaine
rgaine
rgaine
Help! Long! Best advice on how to deal with a partner who has a short temper, gets angry and storms off not to talk to you until you apologize (even if you don't really feel there is a reason to do so- ie he got mad because we moved and I can't put the guest room bed together alone while super pregnant and he is an engineer and it's an easy fix but yet he gave up after 5 min and stormed off when I gave advice on how it went together since it was my old IKEA bed). Baby coming within the next 2 weeks Ish and he completely checks out and doesn't help do anything- including his own meals and laundry. Sleeps in (i.e. Stayed in bedroom all day yesterday only coming out to eat) goes to work late only to come back at midnight. Even his mom has said he's being lazy- in regards to not helping get ready for baby. Just called me "stupid" for not apologizing and then "dishonest" for telling him in a text I don't understand why he would be mad and asked for an explanation.
20.06.2016
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rgaine
rgaine
Ty @jpatt4 - apparently his mom realized he was being useless and told him to stop the silent testament and stop being lazy. The problem isn't fixed but he's talking and saying he will help tomorrow on his day off- we'll see!
25.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
jpatt4
jpatt4
My mom, though didn't have kids with her ex, went through the same thing. Culture told him the wife does EVERYTHING, but yard work. So after a long day at work, she would come home have to put I over time. And he got to do whatever, the yard look like crap. My two sister and myself had to also clean and keep the house house for him and my mom, because by the end they both had given up and didn't care. Well long story short they are not together anymore, my mom HAD to takeout a restraining order, and still didn't stop him. From what I have found in my studies it can take yo to 7 years after abuse like this to true feel out of his grasp. You will never be truly recover, but for the person to not have a grasp on you 7 years. Please be careful! I have seen what it can do on the women and children.
21.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
rgaine
rgaine
@nova887, Exactly. I even mentioned the word abuse to try and wake him up but it didn't work. I guess I have to wait it out for now and decide after baby to know if it wakes him up from his craziness.
21.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
nova887
nova887
I can tell he doesn't get it. He thinks his behavior is normal and OK but it's actually abusive. It's extremely hard to live with a person like that.
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
rgaine
rgaine
@nova887, we definitely do- I've mentioned it twice already and explained how it makes me feel. He just doesn't get it.
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
rgaine
rgaine
@monanl1991, Yeah, with no family in the area and the baby due at any minute I'm currently opting for the silent treatment (at least I don't have to hear him- lol)
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
nova887
nova887
This sounds bad like need counseling type of bad.
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
monanl1991
monanl1991
If this was happening to me I would left his sorry as like really you expect me to put together. I know being a single parent is hard but maybe he just needs time and if he really loves you and it's meant to be he will return
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
rgaine
rgaine
@kelseys, I wasn't sure if that's the right thing to do- the food/laundry thing is a cultural expectation for him and I get it and am ok with it if he's doing his part (his mom is here now due to impending baby so I have to at least cook/clean some- sucks). I've tried being quiet back- today is day 5.... And this is like the 6th time this has happened. I told him before I need an explanation of why he's mad then instead of silence that fixes nothing. When I broke silence this morning to remind him to get car seat inspected (his car) he flipped out.
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
kelseys
kelseys
do it back to him. you shouldn't have to apologize especially when something isn't your fault. sounds like he acting like a spoiled child. don't do any thing for him(laundry,cook,clean) or even talk to him. ignore him and don't pay attention to him. he needs to feel the way he makes you feel
20.06.2016 Нравится Ответить
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