Warning:Long post just need to express myself today.

My handsome amazing sleepy husband. This is him randomly passing out again. Today was his 3rd day in a row of Chemo. 4th session in total. It is so hard for me to see him going through this, being exhausted and in pain and there being nothing I can do. I feel helpless and distant because up to 72 hours after each treatment I can't even kiss my husband due to the chemo being in all of his bodily fluids and being pregnant they don't want any possibility of it hurting or getting to Lilly through me. It scares me to death everyday to know that he has cancer. To think a month and a half ago everything was going great, then we had to get the news that he had cancer. Even just that damn word is scarey. Why GOD has us going through such a trial when we're supposed to be celebrating I will never know. I just have to keep reminding myself that GOD's plans are bigger then ours. I just keep praying and keep my head held high because I need this man here with me to raise our children and for me. After 9 years even the thought of not having him next to me scares me so much. Our relationship has not been perfect but please remember to love and cherish your loved ones everyday no matter how angry they make you. Your whole life can be turned upside down in just one moment.