Am I wrong for thinking he doesn't deserve to be in my sons life? He hasn't wanted anything to do…

I think it's silly how he says "my mom" what is he 12? He don't need his moms permission. You aren't wrong at all girl. I'm in the same boat !

@newmommy_2016, exactly omg thank you! he literally acts like a little kid. Like you did this, not your mom, I don't have to communicate with her if I don't want to? I'm sorry you're in the same boat.. I find it incredibly annoying lol

If he wants to change and show an effort to participate in his childs life he should be allowed to. If he isn't on drugs, has a place to live etc.....most likely if you guys go to court he will be allowed partial custody. If he wants to be there now, you should let him.

Go to court lawyer up now

@arivera64, he parties all the time, and lives with his mom. He's not in school, doesn't work and is literally doing nothing with his life. He just acted like the baby didn't exist and begged me not to tell anyone the baby was his.. I just don't think he deserves a chance now when I've given him a thousand chances to grow up and be around and he blew them off

I don't think it's an excuse, but.....i do think you should give him the opportunity to prove himself. Maybe you guys could settle out of court if he does. Meet for lunch. Ask him what his plans are to help you support the baby now that he wants to be in the childs life. Set up times that he will be allowed to come over and help you parent and learn how to properly care for the baby. If he doesn't step up to that then let his ass take you to court.

@arivera64, I've tried to meet up with him to discuss things and he tried sending his mom & sister to talk to me. I've told him he could see him if he wanted to come visit but he wouldn't be having him by himself & he got mad. He's just not willing to work with me, he wants to have him by himself as much as I'll have him by myself, and he doesn't even have a damn car seat.

Well mama bear, you know the situation and i think in the end you should do what you feel is best. I hope things work out for the better for you guys. Good luck with everything

you're not wrong at all me and my ex were trying so long to have a baby he left me for another female and we ended up having a one-night stand and that's when I fell pregnant when I told him I was pregnant he blocked me on Facebook and changed his phone number and from what I'm hearing hid from his family is that he wants nothing to do with this baby so if it ever comes a day that he reaches out to me before I have my baby I absolutely don't want anything to do with him I don't want him to be at the birth or anything you have every right to feel the way you feel because it's not fair that a man can get you pregnant and just walk away and don't have to do anything else not come to a doctor's visit or anything but think he can just oh I want to be involved now whenever he wants no no no you are completely right

@haiydensmomma, he sounds like a child to me. when the baby gets here and he actually has to change a diaper and feed a baby he may decide he doesn't want to do it anymore. that sounds horrible to say but it sounds like that's the kind of person he is.

@arivera64, thank you i hope so too! @debbiecakez22 exactly.. That's literally exactly how these past 9 months have gone for me.. He hasn't gone to 1 appointment, bought 1 thing or even told 1 person until a week ago.. But he thinks he deserves to be a dad.. It's just so wrong and not fair

@kebarnes, I know that's probably what will happen. He just needs to grow up..

Court favors the mother. Unless the father has proof that you are unfit. If he can't do that, all he'll get is visitation rights.

@mommytoprincessmckenzie, yeah that's what I thought! And I'm faaaarrrr from unfit so I should have no issues lol it's just irritating that he even THINKS he would ever get full custody of him over me

My BD said to me in the middle of my pregnancy "this will be a fun custody battle" all I did was laugh

@mommytoprincessmckenzie, lol that's what I'm trying to do! Like its funny how he says he'll file for full custody and he "promises" the he will win. Like no I highly doubt that. I'm just gonna laugh about it we'll see what happens

Do you have a message from him saying he wanted you to get an abortion? Or was it in person?

@mommytoprincessmckenzie, I actually think I do of I look back in our messages far enough!

Keep it.

@Mommytoprincessmckenzie, oh I will! I haven't deleted any of our messages, I always thought I might need them some day lol

Good! Cause that should help!

@haiydensmomma, Man, that sucks. This is super long. Lol. Sorry. Just wanted to share my experience. My cousin went through the same exact thing recently. The BD wanted her to have an abortion. Didn't want to tell anyone, pay for anything, help her out, etc. The first time they went to court he had hrly visits due to her breastfeeding and baby being to small for overnights. The courts really didn't see any reason the father shouldn't be in the child's life. They actually frown upon any parent who refuses to allow a parent/child relationship. That part will look bad on you in court. Him telling you that you need to speak to his mom or sister will look bad on him in court. It shows he is not willing to communicate and how will you co-parent that way. Now, you don't have to allow him at the hospital or to sign the acknowledgement of paternity or birth certificate. So, that will be his first step in court. He first has to prove paternity. But once he does it's fair share in court. You have to prove how unfit he is with hard evidence from now until forever. Don't give him any reasons to prove you that way. The courts would prefer that y'all could come to an agreement in custody with out them having to interfere. I see that being unlikely if he has to have his mom for everything. So just be prepared in advance. Good luck.