Just really sad. I've been staying at my mom's since Sunday and today I'm 38 weeks its so hard to get up for work every…

alcoholism is a disease, i know from experience. this could is his way of putting you two first. I know it sounds weird. it is a very tough time for both of you. good luck

that makes a lot of sense @ttc.at.38 I really appreciate that. sometimes I feel though that he uses it as an excuse to drink without me knowing. it's hard feeling unwanted by your own husband especially right now. I never thought it would be this way. he just can't handle the stress which means it's all on me.

stress is a bad thing. try to think of it as an automatic reaction vs excuse. think of it this way. I used to eat most of my dinners on the way home from work. First it was because I was hungry, but then it became so routine that I'd just stop somewhere. it takes a lot to realize that I wasn't there because I was hungry, but just because that is what I did everyday. you stop thinking about why your stopping and you just do it. alcohol is very similar. you come home and have a drink. at first b/c of stress, then the same amount of beer was not getting you as relaxed as it once did. so you increase the amount and frequency. oh man. it's so hard. the fact that he is trying tells me he loves you both very much. hugs 2 u

I understand your frustration but as a recovering addict I know what he means by putting himself first.

I attend meetings and work closely with a sponsor and the fellowships tell us that our recovery must come first no matter what. that anything we put before our recovery will be lost, including family kids work. I know it's hard for "normal" people to understand but it's true. anytime I put something else before my recovery I always lost it and lost my recovery.

of course it's frustrating because you have a baby coming very very soon and you as a mother still need to prepare for your child's arrival.

addiction is difficult for both the family and the addict/alcoholic but if he keeps doing the right thing then you and your family will thrive. with recovery comes some sacrifice, but in the end it's worth it to not be so sick and suffering. I wish you and your husband the best. if you ever need advice or don't understand something he's doing or saying feel free to message me.

@ttc.at.38 that's a good analogy. we got into an argument and that is why he went out and drank. but he is not returning any of my calls or texts which leads me to believe he is doing something he isn't supposed to be like as a last hooray before baby gets here or something.

@riverbordengovoni thanks girl. I am a recovering addict as well. we quit at the same time. the difference is he is 6 years older than me and had been drinking and drugging for 15+ years. and quit cold turkey because our marriage was most important and then he got me pregnant. now 2 weeks before she's here after being a year clean the pressure is too much for him to handle. the difference between him and I is that he can go out and drink and do whatever , I have a child inside me that I could severely damage if I chose that lifestyle again. He has never gone to any meetings or recovery programs. we quit on our own so there is no support other than each other. so when I say he's putting himself first I don't mean in a good way I mean he is being selfish. I don't care how difficult addiction is drinking and driving and threatening your extremely pregnant wife and kicking her out 2 weeks before she's due is wrong. I hope he takes this time to really think about what's important because I will not go back to him if he continues to drink. that was a commitment we made together. there are temptations but God always gives you a way to escape them and he made a deliberate choice on my very first mothers day to go to a bar and slam back drinks and his brother was there and told him to go home and take care of his wife and child and my husband hauled off and slugged his own brother in the face. I just hope he's sitting in our empty house looking at her baby clothes and pictures of us and really thinking about what he's doing.