🚨🚨🚨🚨longest rant ever, having a horrible night, just needed to vent,🚨🚨🚨🚨 ok so my bf comes home…
🚨🚨🚨🚨longest rant ever, having a horrible night, just needed to vent,🚨🚨🚨🚨 ok so my bf comes home tonight drunk as it possibly gets says he would be home at 6 it was 9... nothing new (if your with a drunk you'll understand) I was cooking chili and he demanded I go drive to get his daughter at 9pm. mind you she's 7 years old, has school tomorrow should already be asleep. I told him no its not my responsibility and asked why he didn't get her earlier. his response- "I got fucking drunk" I was like well her mom should keep her then, there's no point in dragging her around this late at night when you decided your priorities were getting shit faced instead of spending time with your daughter who you claim to miss SOOO much. Here I am 38 weeks pregnant, could go into labor anyday and he argues with me for 30 minutes making me go pick her up, and telling me how I never do anything for him and to go f*ck myself. (I literally do everything for him.) he's so drunk that he says all this stuff to me then immediately 'forgets' ten minute later. I'm crying by this time because my body hurts so bad, and he kept saying horrible things to me and I've just had enough. so he tells me I need to be with someone whose half gay because I'm too sensitive and can't handle a real man. when he's not the slightest acting like a real man. he's a poor excuse for a father, he may love his daughter but he's not a good dad. beer is his #1. I just can't believe he's being like this again. I want to leave him so bad but since I moved back so late in my pregnancy I don't have a job. I feel so stuck and depressed. his daughter even started getting an attitude with me because I wouldn't give her drunk ass dad my Popsicles (might sound petty but helps with my nausea that has taken over once again) and I buy all the food in this house if he wants to act like I don't do anything why should I cater to him? I honestly have no respect left for him, this isn't a first time situation, but I just realize I can't take it anymore I keep saying I want to leave and I never do. I just want things to work out for me for once. I wanted my son to have a family, but what good is a dad who doesn't care about anyone but himself.
Julia·
Мама дочки-младенца
this really hits me, my father is an alcoholic and believe me when I tell you, it affects the kids so much! it's horrible, I never felt like I was good enough for him.
cheyanne·
В ожидании первенца
@juliabug, that breaks my heart. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I watch his daughter go through it and he has mean spurts with her too. he will scream at her then act like it didn't happen. I can't make him be better, which sucks because trust me I've tried... but I don't want my son to go through that. drunks are impossible to please they drink to a point to be able to handle life, when in reality they are just making everything worse and making everyone else miserable!
Cortney·
Мама двоих (12 лет, 15 лет), ждёт третьего
my husband is the same way I couldn't understand more of what your going thru. when I read ur post it was like i wrote n it my self. hope things get better. do u have any family in IA ? I'm in Ks and all my relatives live in California so I'm kinda stuck.
cheyanne·
В ожидании первенца
@cocored55, I'm sorry your going through it too. it's seriously miserable and no way to live. I have family around here but I'm definitely stuck for now as well.
Cortney·
Мама двоих (12 лет, 15 лет), ждёт третьего
mine has good days and thats the only thing that keeps me here besides I don't want to raise this baby alone. all he says it's how he's going to do this n that for his son blah blah blah but if he drinks every day how can you possibly think I'll let my son be with you lol delusional much
cheyanne·
В ожидании первенца
@cocored55, God that sounded like I wrote that. lol I think some days we could work because he acts great but those days are far and few between.. plus he gets so drunk and says such terrible things. my son deserves a dad to look up to and be a role model..
Cortney·
Мама двоих (12 лет, 15 лет), ждёт третьего
exactly I need to come to grips with the fact that is not going to get better once I do that ill be able to let go but for now im jist driving it out like a dummy. I want to leave ask the time but everytime we get in s fight n he leaves I feel sad and want him back why I dint know because I just hate him most days
cheyanne·
В ожидании первенца
@cocored55, same here girly. I also can stand the thought of him being with someone else and finally changing and being better.. but I also hate him so much it's almost like I don't even love him.. I'm sick of him making me feel worthless and everyone sees it, people tell me to leave all the time but it's hard if they haven't been through it they don't understand
Deleted user·
You should never feel stuck girl. There's support groups out there, shelters for women. Maybe family can help.. I'm sorry you're going through that, that's horrible 😞 But you have to think about your baby.. all this verbal abuse & things you're feeling towards him are doing you no good. It's stressing you out.. your baby doesnt deserve to grow in an unhealthy home. Yes he'll have a father if you stay but will he really be happy? That man isn't going to change unless he wants to himself. If he hasn't changed for his little girl now, chances are he won't with another baby. Alcoholism is like an illness.. no matter how much you want to help that person there is just no way unless they seek the help for themselves. It's scary to know he gets verbally abusive.. it can become physical at any time when under that state of mind. Hope you do what's best for your baby. Good luck!
Melody·
Мама сына (4 года), беременна (23 нед.)
I can't say much because like you said, I've never been in your situation so what do I know, right? But I can tell you that you deserve better and it may not be easy but look at the impact it'll have on your child if you choose to let him grow up in that environment. I'm by no means perfect or saying I know best but in my opinion you have a bigger obligation towards your baby to give him the best environment to grow up in. But that's just my opinion and I know I don't know the whole story.
cheyanne·
В ожидании первенца
@indigenousmommy, I appreciate your opinion and I'm so glad you don't know what's it's like because it's miserable and nobody deserves it that's for sure... I'm going to leave soon as I start working again, my pregnancy was not planned so I didn't have money saved or my life together one bit.. so that makes things much more difficult anyways.. my son deserves so much better and I'm going to give him better it just might take me a few more months to do so..
Melody·
Мама сына (4 года), беременна (23 нед.)
Good luck with everything. You're a great mom :)
Cortney·
Мама двоих (12 лет, 15 лет), ждёт третьего
when your ready it will happen. until then just take care of u and try not to get too stressed 😆