@samijoy, that's horrible I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I know exactly how you feel; my BF's family is the same way, my family will be putting up all the money for everything but my Bf and his family is always the first people to open up their mouths. His mother is pretty much taking money away from the child already because she's on state assistance for rent (that she isn't the one paying) and he won't move in with me (but he's content living on his parents couch after his mother gave his room to his sister who she's always arguing with) so he has to quit one job knowing my job situation and that I'm trying to look for something else to go with the job I already have as well so that we can make all ends meet, because she keeps telling him they're going to up the rent in the house if he has two jobs. My dad pays for everything about my car and my parents keep all the bills up in my house on their own even though my BF stays the night and eats and does whatever he wants he never replaces anything or brings anything in to help out and his family pretty much scoffs at the fact that my parents pay for everything for me and feels like I'm some entitled prissy little snob. They've never parted their lips to thank us or anything for the gifts we've brought his youngest sister the last 3 years for birthdays and Christmas, never thank us for the fact that we have an extra cell phone line that we keep on for when my bf doesn't or can't pay his phone bill so that he can get in contact with people, and have never helped us in any way. My only focus is my child and it being taken care of, and myself, I've gotten to a point with them where it sucks and it's sad but I can care less if they're in its life because it doesn't deserve to know people like that even if they are blood.

@jc100495, it's heartbreaking when families don't get along. But honestly there's nothing I can do. I worry about my family, my BF, my son, and myself. His family doesn't offer any help but expects so much from my family then looks at them with disgust when they say they can only help out so much. The food shop for us and make sure I have gas and make sure our cable is paid. But to his mom and family it's not good enough. His mom pays for nothing other then rent and transportation. My family never gets any thank you's. His family is ungrateful and only care about themselves honestly

@samijoy, smh that's terrible, I don't blame you at all if would definitely feel the same way you do. And my BF's mom is the same way, she always has her hand out for something and is always asking him and his grandmother for money for stuff because she has no sense of budgeting and always wants to play lotto when she doesn't have it and buy and do things she has no business doing with her money, and his aunts don't talk to me and aren't around so I'm not too concerned with them, and his uncles won't be around like that so I'm not worried about them either, and I know my uncles won't be around but I should and will bring it up to my closest aunt because she'll be around a lot. And I know exactly what you're talking about, I can write a whole series of novels about his family, we had a miscarriage a few years ago and it was pure hell and I got called out of my name by his mother on multiple occasions and was called psycho and all kinds of stuff and was threatened by her and she even got nasty with my mom and I was told that I was lying and was trying to trap my BF (he never parted his lips to defend me either smh). His family hasn't been the greatest to me and hasn't lifted a finger or parted their lips to be concerned with anything about the baby and me but I know they'll start something once the baby gets here if I don't involve them, I've told him that his mother is more than welcome to help plan my shower and be involved and she hasn't called, texted, or parted her lips to say anything to me about this pregnancy or the shower or anything.

@jc100495, she refuses to try and get healthcare. This is the way it's gotta be. If she gets mad or upset then it's her own problem. I'm not risking the health of my child cause you want to be selfish. She asks my BF grandmother to help with everything else. Maybe this is something you should ask to borrow. And his aunt and uncle aren't allowed to either cause I know they won't get it. They're a whole different story though. I could write a novel on his family and their wrongdoings and how they treat my family and I

@samijoy, thank goodness he got his at least, and yikes that's just as risky to work in as healthcare with everything that goes on and goes around in living quarters like that, and public transportation definitely doesn't help because you really don't know what others have so you make more than enough valid reasons for her to get it. That's really sad that it's at that point because that's not fair to anyone in the situation and makes her look disgusting especially if she smokes on top of everything. My parents are both smokers, and they're working on quitting especially with the baby living with us, I'm not too concerned about my grandmother getting it because she lives farther away and won't be in contact with the baby too much, but I think I might try (once he's done with this hissy fit) to bring up his grandmother getting it because she's considerably young and will want to touch and hold the baby because it's her favorite grandchild's child. I'd be doing the same thing and would probably disinfect things right in front of her because that's disrespectful to you and your boyfriend and your family. I hope she comes around for everyone's sake but if she doesn't you definitely aren't doing anything wrong by taking the precautions and measures you're going to be taking!

@jc100495, my BF just got his today but can't afford to do hers too. And she works at a college cleaning the dorms and takes public transportation everyday so that doesn't make me feel any better. It's gonna come down to my parents having to pay for it for her cause they don't want someone around their grandchild that's not vaccinated. My parents have it. My brother is going to. Even my grandparents who technically don't have to. My gmom who lived with my parents can't get it because she's allergic to the tetnus in it and she's heartbroken over it. But she understands. It's just hard cause his mom lives with us so anything she touches I'm going to be disinfecting nonstop. It's just going to be embarrassing on her when my parents have to pay for it. A 51 y.o. Will go spend over 65$ a week for cigarettes but not a shot for the safety and health of her grandchild.

@samijoy, that's terrible especially if she lives in the same house, and your bf should make her and pay for it if possible in my opinion. My bf is ridiculously over protective when it comes to anyone saying anything about his mother so I'm thinking he's pretty much insulted that I said something like that, and to make matters worse she works in the healthcare profession with elderly people every single day so it's like I don't even want her near the baby at all without getting that shot as well as his little sister who is in grade school and will be old enough to receive it by the time the baby gets here because I know she's going to want to touch and hold the baby. Also, the insurance they have will cover everything at no cost to them. My mom works with elderly people as well and I was talking to her about it and she's getting it and my father works for the postal service (his job is rather cushy however, he doesn't physically deal with the mail, he's a district manager so it's a lot of paperwork and traveling that he does) so there's germs left and right doing what they do and they're not even hesitating to get it. Luckily the child and I will be in the "sterile" house (my house), but I know he's going to raise hell if I don't allow his family in the hospital room to touch or hold the baby and I know his family will look at me like some psycho monster bitch if I say no, but I'm just going to have to be looked at as such if they can't respect my wishes to keep my child healthy.

@katearabella, seriously I don't understand how or why they'd think that it's not necessary, it's not like a baby's immune system is immediately ready to take on the world. My thing with my bf is that he happily got his flu shot for no other reason than it 1. Was free and 2. He was able to get it at his job, and at the time that he got that we weren't even expecting, but I tell him he has to get something done for his child and it's like pulling teeth! It'd be no cost to him to get this shot either with his insurance. My family's on board for it and will be getting it, but I told him that his family needs to get it or else they can't be around the baby until it's older and of course he gets protective like I said something horrible about them, but I know he'll be the first one as soon as he hears even the smallest weird sound come from the baby to start talking about we need to take the baby to the hospital or something and think it's something I did wrong as a parent. 😒😓

It's not worth the risk of your child's health. If people get mad then that's their problem. No one knows whose a carrier and why run that risk?

Literally in the same place you are. My BF mom won't spend the 65$ to get it and I told my BF she cannot hold him then. She lives with us so it's important she gets it but if she's going to refuse then she's not allowed to hold or care for him.

😒 I made everyone get theirs and my bf thought it was dumb but I said when she's gasping for air tell me how stupid it is then