Man, cousins are having there babies now, next one in a few weeks. Neighbor is due soon. So many fucking babies and my heart just hurts.

Life is hard. But you just have to keep going and soo n I know I'll get my precious gift. No matter what other bs comes my way. It might not be the choice everyone wishes. But it's what I gota do. high grade abnormal cells. next stage is cervical cancer. Dr suggest I take the next step and go on wait list for day surgury. 2 week recovery. followed by possible complications if we were to get pregnant . could go into premature labor, orrrr cervix could not dilate and would be forced to go C-section. or I could wait. hope we have a baby within the next ...... and then after do the surgery (once healed from labor/ and all that.) Dr would prefer me to start b.c and wait for baby. but I just have reservations about possible complications durring labor... I guess I just want a chance. chance to experience it without something getting in the way... ohh and I'm 3 days late. I just quit my job because my boss was a bully.