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yeah my mom was with my father for many years..he cheated and was not the head of household my mom worked and cared for us. my husband and I are old school but he will make our kids plate first or I will but I feel its a family effort..to show respect for each other. my husband helps me with anything he can as I help him. it works well for us but maybe not others..I just couldn't imagine telling my kids that dad comes first when he agrees that our children do...and half the time the men never stick around while you still have you and your kid.
@sealion, right girl like to me we are both head hold house hold
Don't forget. Moms can be the head of household as well. My dad was the stay at home parent for a few years and he made our plates first before my moms. She preferred it that way. And vise versu when he was the working parent. You can be sweet and cater every once in a while but it's all about learning to do things on your own. A woman isn't made just to cook and clean. She can work. And what if both parents work and you're a teenager? You need to learn that you can walk into the kitchen and cook yourself dinner and maybe even a younger sibling who isn't able to do just that. You can cater to your man, (there is nothing wrong with it) but I believe your man should want your children's stomachs to be the first to be filled. A real head of household wants their family taken care of before themselves. They work to take care of this family. More often then not they want their family to be taken care of before themselves. That is after all, what a head of household is. They put their family first. It's not about showing children to disrespect the head of house hold or whatever the case, it's about the man or woman of the house watching their family prosper from what they are bringing home to the table. :) take it or leave it. Just an added view. @mommy.of.2. @lilmommy93 @hermommy @maybabyboy @aminaisazasmami @polkadotcutie
I make my fiancé plate but I would never make his before the kids
@maybabyboy, I'm with you I asked my fiancé what he thinks about the situation and he thinks the kids plate should always be fixed first .
I have to go with @maybabyboy on this one. I've watched my mom fix my dad a plate and take it to him for 21 years now and it annoys the crap out of me. Yes, I will make my SO a plate every now and again, but otherwise he's a grown man he can do it himself. I will feed my daughter before I eat, but I am not going to make him a plate when she needs fed too, all before I, myself eat. We are equals, he's not on a higher pedestal than I. And I certainly don't have someone bringing me my plate. He's lucky enough in that he doesn't have to wait to eat until the baby is fed!
for the first year or so of our marriage I made my husbands plate.. one day we sat down to dinner and he said "babe, I love that you want to take care of me. but, I can do this by myself. let me do it." from then on he has came in and set the table while I cooked and sometimes he even comes in and kicks me out of the kitchen.
I'm from the south also but I was raised by my grandparents and I had respect for my head of house hold, still do. my daughter will know who's in charge I so everything else for my man because He works so hard but until my daughter is old ebough to do things her self she is my priority hes grown
@maybabyboy, @hermommy I am from the south. Nashville born and raised but by a single mother. Never knew my Father. it's just my own beliefs that a woman should cater to her man...as he should to her. I'm not saying he can't fix his own plate and this post isn't saying that he can't but it is in fact showing you the bigger picture that it is the woman's job to show her kids that respecting the head of household is what makes a marriage last. Your kids will not starve for feeding your husband his plate first...and fixing your husband his plate doesn't make you a slave. It makes you a Queen showing respect to your King. It's a small gesture on a grander scale in life. It teaches your children the foundation of a lasting relationship without entitlement bc marriage is a partnership.
just a guess, are you from the south? I'm from Oregon, and I've come to realize that gender roles are just thought of differently. and I wasn't saying that you should do things a certain way, sorry if it came off like that, I just meant that's how I do things. I live in Texas now, and it amazes me how different some gender roles still are in different parts of the country, it's really interesting.
my man fixes his own plate lol sometimes he will get lucky and I'll do it when he doesn't feel good or his bday or something but with my kids I'm going to do it until they're old enough and that's it they're own their own with it.
I guess I did, because I was raised to be self sufficient instead of anyone having to cater to anyone. yes, I do bring my husband his plate of I'm the one who cooks, but if I'm feeding a baby he has two hands and can get his own plate. or he can fix me a plate because my hands are full.
@maybabyboy, so u feel like a slave for fixing your man a plate? I think u missed the whole point of the post
ooooorrr you fix a plate for those who can't do it themselves, and when they are old enough, they all get their own plates and mom doesn't have to be their slave :-)
💯and that is the way God set things!
in my family I cook and make my kiddos plates and makes sure they have everything they need and my husband makes my plate then me makes his own