every time I see photos of mom's holding their babies right after birth I feel envious and sad because I didn't get to experience that with my son... he gotten stuck and died for eleven minutes, they revived him then he gotten air lifted to another hospital. he was with my sister in the NICU for ten hours until I got there. they had to find me a room. he stayed in the NICU for nine days I gotten to hold him the day after with tubes and wires all around him. but now he's a healthy, intelligent, curious, loving, goofy baby boy that'll be one on Monday. I'm blessed but I wish I had that experience with him. thank God I have him in my life.