so.... a few weeks ago my husband and I got into an argument, we talked about what we want changed…

Yea you continue to change for the better and let them do them and if it gets to a point where they are not making the necessary changes to better Yall relationships then at that point you have to make some hard decisions

because they aren't keeping their part, it's not changing anything

@ginag918,

I feel like I'm the only one who has to change and they could care less.... @ginag918

U could either tell them ur not holding ur end because they're not or u could keep holding ur end so they have no reason to complain about u later

@shish, that's true. thank you. I guess my mil told my husband that once we moved out that I won't let him go see his family anymore because I was always in my room.... wtf?? why would you say that?? they seriously don't know me if they are going around telling him that. honestly it hurt they said that just because I love having my privacy and being by myself cuz I'd been cleaning all morning...

Well it's not like they've given u a reason to feel welcome enough to come out of ur room in my opinion. Not to mention that his family not urs, there's a such thing as a "comfort level". And also u r not them, if ur anything like me u like ur space and alone time. I'm hermit, I'm comfortable at home so I never go anywhere and I like it that way. There's nothing wrong with that. Just because u like to have privacy doesn't mean he can't go see them whenever he wants. I've told my husband to go see his family cuz his sister says shit like that, too, and he won't without me. That's his own choice though and he's made that very clear to them. Whether thus understand or not is another story lol

@shish, thank you! someone who understands me! but she's like if you want him to spend more time with you you need to spend more time with us... I was all umm no we're married now and have our own lives! he still goes out with his family. there's been plenty of times where I will go out and sit with his mom and him but they just get up and leave when I get there or just ignore me and not talk to me.... and my husband is all you need to put yourself out there and start talking and getting on me for it.. and I have with his mom but she doesn't say anything.... he's always with his family and sometimes I get lucky if he says I'm not going out there without you I wanna be with you. they always make me play games with them I don't want to play. I usually am good about playing games but certain ones I don't like playing and they make me play....

U sound like me lol I won't initiate anything where I'm clearly not wanted. I like being alone though lol. Is he a mamas boy? She needs to get over herself. I swear that's one of my biggest pet peeves is when MILs act like u have to go by their rules, traditions, etc and if u don't then they just don't like u. U have ur own family and he needs to understand that as well. I dealt with that way too long with my previous marriage. I can tell u sweetie if u don't do something about it now it's not going to change:/

@shish, you'll have to text me sometime!! =) cuz I have no one to talk to...he's a huge mama's boy. I'm a daddy's girl I'm even close to his dad. we have had this talk so many times its unbelievable and we talk about other things as well but he doesn't change but makes me change... I just don't understand.... he said once we move out we have to go back at least once a week. knowing him he will be there every day. they both tell me she loves me a lot but all she does is buy me all these things for me and for the baby but doesn't do anything else.... it's just so awkward I hate it....