Shout out to the cousin who texted my husband out of the blue saying she didn't agree with our birth plan at all because this is my first baby and I "don't know what to expect" and home births "aren't safe" UGH. I wish people would just talk to me about what the plan is instead of just assuming everything. She knew no details. She was just told we were THINKING about a home birth. That's it. Gotta love it.
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@rgaine, oh yeah! I've been doing nothing but research lately and I see no reason why it'd go badly! So I'm just trying to stay positive! My husband said "she only says this because she cares" blah. There could have been more tact but whaaaatever. Everyone has their own ideas of how to do things in life and our families should smile and nod. As long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, no one should care what you're doing!
@iamthebluebird, It is extremely important to do your homework especially in an instance like this but my sister just had a home birth about 10 months ago and things went absolutely perfect... So there is good and bad! Yeah, I was livid. She's lucky she is a relative or I probably would not have been able to control my temper. Thing is - my brother has half of dad's ashes and plans to dump them in the ocean in Hawaii where he lives, but she didn't say anything to him. I think it would be a lot harder to visit fading the ocean than at a cemetery. So, dad is still in my closet. How many times has she visited my place? Never.. as in never ever in my 37 years has she visited me. She was speaking out of grief and it's highly possible the cousin is speaking out of concern and has good intentions. Just try to keep your cool and know she has no say anyways. :-). Ya know, smile and nod.
@rgaine, wow go you!! I'm glad she apologized. My husband texted her back and said basically thanks from your concern but this is what we want and we're keeping our options open. She scared me though. Told him about her friend that almost died because the midwife wasn't able to sew up where she tore and she almost bled to death because she couldn't get to the hospital fast and all this junk like HELLO?! Why would you tell someone that like that?!
Ignore her. I had a cousin that decided to message me right after my dad died to tell me she didn't like that I wanted to bury him at Arlington Cemetery... Where it's free, 4 mi from me, and quite an honor really. I told her basically when your dad dies do you want me to cal you and tell you where to bury him? She apologized. Similar situation- she needs to put herself in your shoes and shut the hell up.
@iamthebluebird, yeah make sure to get professional references and check them out very well! experience however dosnt make the best midwives their ability to remain calm and make precise decisions in crazy is key
Yeah I understand that! @aphrodite2014 I would never let that happen, if I could help it. The midwives where I'm going seem really great and I have a meeting with one on the 15th to pick their brains apart. Their stats and reviews are really good so I'm hoping for the best! If not, I have my backup plan! Something will work out and in the end I'll have a beautiful baby 😍
@iamthebluebird, however anything that happens with a midwife can happen in hospital too so I don't see why there is such a big emphasis on no home births.. however make sure you can find a pediatrician that will accept the baby born by midwife because alot in my area wont
@iamthebluebird, I believe that where people get the impression that home births are unsafe is due to everyone's reliance in medical personnel vs natural instinct. but like in my area the midwives are not experienced and most wait too long before calling 911 to bring you to the hospital.. I work in the nicu and seeing those babies and parents come in hurts.. they are judged by some the staff and have either lost their baby or close to it..
@avasmommy03, thank you! That's exactly what we're looking forward to about the home birth but I'm also looking into a birthing center nearby so it's not for sure (but it's most likely) hopefully you can do a home birth if you decide to have more babies or something in the future! @aphrodite2014 I wasn't planning on telling anyone either because of this! All types of birth are fine, I don't know why home births are so taboo! Everyone's different! And we are only 15 minutes from the closest hospital so if my midwife is unprepared for something (which is unlikely) then I'll be okay! I bet it's awesome to have medical training. You know you'll always be safe!
I hate when people down your birth plan Just caus your a ftm if your not high risk there is nothing wrong with natural or home birth and home births are not dangerous tell them do their research it's actually a good calm environment for the baby to come into with you and your husband makes bonding better cause you feel so comfortable in your own home don't let anyone discourage that awesome birth plan I wish I could do home birth but I can't and I'm jealous lol but congrats to you
thats why I won't be telling anyone my birth plan except my SO.. I'd prefer a home birth but my SO and I are trained in emergency medicine and we only live a mile and a half from the hospital
@bjeff, thank you! I'm the same way. I have nothing against epidurals or anything but I just don't want any medications if I can help it so that's the route I'm going! I haven't read much about hypnobirthing but I've watched a few videos of those births and they seem amazing! I'm just going for a water birth and whatever else I feel my body needs to do! I don't want to be stuck in a bed and hooked up to tons of monitors!
I'm not saying epidurals are a bad thing. I had one with my first and some women need them to stay calm and not stress the baby or themsleves out. but I have been studying and practicing hypnobirthing and I'm so excited to experience this delivery to the fullest!! @iamthebluebird some people are just uneducated and love to throw their opinions out there. hang in there Momma 💜
I wasn't telling anyone either for this reason. My husband was on the phone with his mom yesterday and mentioned the idea of home birth and then he got a novel of a text this morning from his cousin about how much she is against it.
I don't even tell people I'm having a natural birth anymore. :/
@iamthebluebird, AGREED!!!!