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I just wish I had a bunch of money to go and forget about my life for a little bit. I want to escape this feeling, this…

I just wish I had a bunch of money to go and forget about my life for a little bit. I want to escape this feeling, this stress.... no matter what I do I can't get away from it. Dealing with an addict while in my 9th month is not the business... especially when it's your mom. I don't even know if she will be there for my sons birth cause she's so fucked up all the time. I really wanted to wait till he got here to send her to rehab so she could see him being born but I don't even know if she will be sober enough to be there. I wish I could get high and forget about it but I deal with my problems cause I have a beautiful son coming into this world. How could you be so selfish? I wish I felt numb. I don't want to stress him out anymore than he is. How could she put me through this? Especially cause she went through so much with my dad when she was pregnant with me and almost cost me my life from all the stress and now she wants to put me and her first grandson through the same thing. I just don't get it. I understand addiction more than most but when you put the people closest to you through shit like this, that's what I don't understand. I was never like that in my addiction. I never let my family see me the way I was. She just doesn't give a shit anymore. Sorry for cussing so much... I just really needed to vent. I've been a wreck....

thank you, hun. I will get through it, it's just getting harder and harder and now I can't be focusing on her. I have been taking care of her my whole life, it's about time for her to grow up and get on with her life. We have both been through a lot... I feel like I have been through more than her at times but I have never been the one to say poor me. I deal with my issues and get on with it. She is always feeding for attention. She had a great childhood and made mine hell but I still love her cause she's my mom. I will not allow her to do the same to my son and I would never put my son through the things she put me through with her addiction. I would never wish that on anyone. Thank you for caring. Just being able to vent helps, you know? @itz.meli

09.02.2016Ответить

Meli

sorry to hear that... its very heart broken to have to go through that. i wish i had a magical wand to help fix this issue but i will keep you in prayers you got this your strong and your strenght comes from your baby boy. im in tears but i know you will get through this hard time... @metalmomma

08.02.2016Ответить

I can't take it anymore! Haley (yes my 1mth old and no I wasn't able to go through this "joy" of nursing my older…

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