@maybabyboy, ^^

ah ya auto loans for sure, both spent on cars that we no longer have kuz ones transmission went out and the other got impounded. no credit cards or personal loans. All for stupid cars that he ruined and now hes trying to get another one with our taxes.. ugh

what I meant by throwing money away is that any money going to credit cards, personal loans, or auto loans is basically going in the garbage.

@livekunterbunt, I would but hes so determined in doing all of what he wants and if I say anything, then Im to blame. He keeps bringing up If I dont like what decisions that hea making, then we can go.our seperate ways

That's the hard part, finding a way to be heard and listen. It might sound weird, but I set a few ground rules for discussions like that. No blame talk, shouting, listening before talking and trying to understand where the other one is coming from. I always just assumed my husband should know what I feel, or that he hurt my feelings; but nope without telling men what's going on, they won't understand.

And above all of that.. the day that we found out how much we were getting back, he started talking about divorce.. and now he keeps bringing it up

@livekunterbunt, I try but it just leads to an argument and always having the blame be me. Hes screwed us over so many times with his big money decisions and so I thought he would let me make some decisions this time but nope hes already made them.

@hartmanfamily, yes my husband wants to use it all to pay off debt and pay in advance but then also wants to move to a new state and hopefully find a place we can afford kuz hes hoping to magically get a job before we run out of money again

@maybabyboy, I wish I was throwing away money, that would atleast be something. We dont have luxuries. We are currently out of a car, have no tv, no wifi, no extra toys (boy toys), always an empty fridge and always a dirty house kuz its all boys and they love to make messes that they never clean. I do all the cleaning and laundry and fixing.. that is when Im not tired or exhausted. I take full care of my 1 month old daughter, full care and never leave the house, let alone the room.

I guess a lot of men don't think that far in the future. But you should sit down and talk about it and figure out how to budged your money, so you can save for emergencies. It's all about communication and finding a way to make decisions together. Wish you good luck!

I'm sorry, but a marriage is a 50/50 partnership. I personally don't think there should be any set responsibilities, because both of you should be totally willing to help each other with whatever you need. if one spouse is lacking in one area, it's up to the other to lift them up and take over or help them take care of business.

As far as the money, you should likely look into spending it all to pay off debt. if you didn't have those payments every month, think of how much more money you would have every day, instead of just once a year. add up all your monthly payments that go to debt, look at the money you are throwing away every month, and try to pay that off so you can keep your money instead of throwing it away.

I'm kind of in the same spot. We are getting a lot back from taxes and my bf acts like all HIS debt is going to be handled with that and it gets me upset because I would like to spend most of it on our 6 year old and on the baby. & whatever is left over pay bills with it.