Trigger. Lost baby

Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

It's my turn ladies!

Finally, after nearly FORTY-TWO weeks... I decided to get induced. Baby Violet scared me with some decreased fetal movement and I couldn't wait any longer.

I don't care who in my family gets mad. For the first two weeks, only me and my boyfriend and like two other people will hold my baby. I don't want my baby to think it needs held 24/7. And I actually want my baby to actually sleep in its own crib instead of our bed.

I also recently found out that I can't take maternity leave only having been at my job since March... I must put in my two weeks when I am ready, and be completely rehired back after baby and recovery from second c section 😰😰😰😰 I'm so worried. What if they don't hire me back, and I have a two year old and an infant and no job. I am terrified about this