I am still not ready for this post...but sooner or later it had to be done...yesterday was the WORST day of my life because I lost my little one at almost 18 wks...contractions started saturday afternoon at 5pm and I gave birth to my baby yesterday morning...didn't leave the hospital until 8am yesterday. People keep saying it's not mt fault but I can't help but to feel guilty because my baby was perfectly healthy i even saw the baby moving around in the ultrasound at around 8:30pm...the problem was my freaking weak as cervix that had dialted without me even knowing and it was too late to stitch my cervix and try to keep the baby because sooner or later the labor was going to happen. on top of that the hospital service was horrible and I eneded up giving birth to my 18wk baby on my own in the room with my mother & fiancé...no doctors or nurses...I can't take the pain and have tried to sleep through it because everytime I am awake I can't help but to just cry and blame myself and miss my baby wishing it was still in my belly. what hurts me the most is that the baby was PERFECTLY HEALTHY and the ONLY reason I lost the baby was because of MY cervix😞 this pain will never go away...I love my baby sooooo much and miss my baby soooo much...how I wish my baby was still alive inside of me...cant help to be angry with myself...nobody told me I was high risk...or my cervix was weak...I am still young and you best believe I will have another baby soon...I just wish I had MY baby NOW in my belly and not in heaven😞 I LOVE YOU & I MISS YOU MY ANGEL BABY👼 I WILL NEEEEVEEER FORGET YOU AND I AM SOOO SORRY😢