my son is almost 8 months old. and I really feel like I have had post partum since having him. there…

my son is almost 8 months old. and I really feel like I have had post partum since having him. there are times I feel no attachment to him. I love my son to death but sometimes I just don't feel like his mother. we rely financially on my parents because I can't find a job. there's times I feel as if I've failed him. we can't afford to buy him new clothes or toys all the time. most of the things he has were either given to me by friends or bought from a baby resale store that sells baby things really cheap. I've always had depression and anxiety. but it's gotten so much worse since having my son. I'm not sure how much more i can take before I go crazy. Noone understands why I feel the way I do...... Half of the time I don't even understand.....