I'm not bitter towards my son's father, rather I am heartbroken by his decision to not be a part of our son's life.…

no problem girl I am always willing to listen if you wanna talk. Your doing what's best for your son don't let anyone make you believed otherwise. your momma you know what is best. @jaspersmama61315

@zaydenmomma, exactly! I'm so thankful I got to talk to you about all of this. It's not everyday that people really understand what I'm going through. Most people just tell me I should try to work things out with my sons father instead of keeping him out of the loop. As much as I'd love to have my sons father be involved, I refuse to let him get involved if he's going to continue using. I don't want the negative and destructive decisions that my sons father chooses to make to effect my sons ability to be a respectful and well mannered man when he grows up. Gods got us. :) thank you for listening to my rants and to my issues. :)

He sounds like a real Piece of shit to me. Im so sorry girl :( that's amazing that you are being the best mom you can be for your child and especially him being so young and you've already made the change. Your baby will thank you for it in the long run. Its so important for you to he happy cuz happy momma means happy baby. Time heals the pain and I believe you will find some one that will treat you like a queen and your son a prince. For your x he seems like he's gonna end up like mine in jail cuz of his screwed up decision. Good for you for keeping your child how ignorant and selfish your x is to automatically push abortion on you makes me wanna give him a left hook and I don't even know the kid. God does have a plan for you with every storm comes a rainbow the color shines through the grey times. Trust me when your baby starts to interact smile and stuff it will get so much easier it did for me. My sons silly goof ball personality amazes me. He's my best friend my only friend. And I'm okay with that now. Its me and him against the world. Its good we both made the step cuz we don't want our sons to grow up and thjing there father's actions and ways are the way to live. @jaspersmama61315

@zaydenmomma sorry for the novel.

@zaydenmomma yeah, I don't want my son's father to be involved to be completely honest. I just want him to leave me and my son alone. It's so much emotional stress to think about everything he's put me through that I don't want that negativity surrounding my son. Basically my ex and I were together for a year, I found out I was pregnant and told him after I told my parents, he insisted on an abortion and I refused (I didn't want to sacrifice a life just because he wasn't ready to step up). I can't say I was ready to be a mama but I took on the responsibilities and the physical and mental changes to bring my son into the world. I tried to give him space to figure his end out. I created necessary boundaries to benefit our shattered relationship (after he insisted on the abortion he became very emotionally and verbally abusive toward me). Nothing seemed to work. He made it clear to me that the only thing that made sense or mattered in his life was music and his desire to make a life out of that and nothing else could replace that. That was my final straw. I had to change my phone number after having received numerous texts from him (he violated my boundary of no contact unless through my father). It was a disaster. I was about 5 months pregnant and found out he had been cheating on me for an entire year. I even personally met his most recent cheat and hit it off with her. He swore up and down he quit smoking weed and doing cocaine, he said he stopped drinking and smoking cigarettes, he said the only thing that mattered was his child. He lied and that's what hurts so bad. How can someone be so hateful and non accepting of a child? My mom said I could reach out to him now that my son is born, but just thinking of that makes me sick to my stomach. I can't imagine even trying to mend things after all the hurt he put on me and my son before I gave birth. It's not fair to my son to bring that negativity and wayward attitude into his life. I want someone who is going to be there for my son no matter what, someone who thinks of my son's wellbeing over his own. It's going to be a long road but I know God has a plan.

Are you breast feeding?

I'm so sorry hun it does get easier 15 days after my sins birth his dad went to jail for 60 days. He's pretty much missed our son whole life so far. I've been alone I have no friends but I'm happy cuz I see my baby smlle right when I open my eyes. his laugh is so amazing. your baby is still super little but the older they get the more they interact it amazing @jaspersmama61315

@zaydenmomma

I completely understand you on that one @zaydenmomma. It's taking a bit of adjusting now that we've moved because I went from having everything near me and now I'm out in the boonies with nothing near at all. Plus I am 11 days postpartum and we moved yesterday. It's been an emotional roller coaster not to mention having been so emotional because of it being Father's Day. I know I'll be alright but it's just really overwhelming.

I'm 100% in the same exact boat. I had to leave town because the stuff he was doing was not okay for my son to be around. He deserves the best and momma will give it to him. I love my sons dad but I love my son more. Sucks living with my dad again but I'm grateful my son has his own room and I feel so much less stressed even tho I do everything 1000% by myself. @jaspersmama61315

I just moved out of town from my son's father. My son and I are starting completely fresh. Although I'm still living with my parents, we are taking each day one at a time. I want my son to be as far away from the negativity as possible. @zaydenmomma it's better for me too because I have the peace of mind that my ex isn't going to come looking for me and my son.

@jaspersmama61315,

My son is almost 5 months I'm the same way he's my beat friend. your baby's lucky he's gotta momma like you keep it up girl. my sons dad isn't around he calls but is on a different state by choice so I can kinda relate

Neither can I @zaydenmomma heck I hate putting my son down even if it means I can take a shower or eat food. Ever since I gave birth 11 days ago, my world revolves around my son. He's my pride and joy.

I'm so sorry momma,: ( I don't see how someone could not be in there child's life. I can't stand being away from my son for a couple hours