Rant ~
I woke up in a bad mood and it just got worse. My husband left my laptop running all night and it was thrown on the couch where it over heated. He's out of a job at the moment and we're staying with my parents till the baby is born and we can find a place to live. My hormones are all in a jumble and it's hard not to scream. I'm sweating (which I never do, seriously) and I think I'm having hot flashes! My face is broken out like I'm 15 again! This is the third trimester! Why am I getting new symptoms?! Ugh. I worked on my hospital bag last night with my husband and I learned I wasn't fully prepared. We don't have really "newborn" clothes. And the clothes we do have don't match the hats and mittens...and my nesting instinct is going MAD! It's causing me so much anxiety right now. Not having the money to go out and buy a onesie or anything at all is seriously ripping at me right now. I can't work and I REALLY want to. But I can't even stand long enough to make dinner most days. My perfectly able husband has been out of work for months. He quit his job after being threatened to be fired shortly before my second trimester. He's a good man...but right now I am really having trouble remembering he's a good man...all I see is my mother once again having to save my ass. It makes me think marrying him and deciding to have a baby was probably not very well thought out. Maybe it's just my emotions all a wreck...but I'm not sure if things will be worse or better after Joey is born.
Oh on top of it all...my best friend of ten years won't talk to me. I really never felt so alone. I know she has a life too...but right now I'm a wreck and have no one to tell all this to.
~ end rant...