TRIGGER WARNING - this post contains personal and possibly graphic information. I wanted to say that…

TRIGGER WARNING - this post contains personal and possibly graphic information.

I wanted to say that if anybody is ever sad or depressed the first thing to know is you are never ever as alone as you think you are! I have been in a really bad place before also. after feeling "not normal, never happy" for a couple years, I got diagnosed with major depression when I was 12 years old. yes 12. I went through countless therapists and medicines that didn't work, trying to find something to help me because I felt like I couldn't help myself. I was so depressed and I never knew why. I got into high school, fell in with the wrong group of people, and they turned on me. called me names every day for no reason, told me to kill myself, just because they didn't like me. I hated school. my mom didn't understand why I felt the way I did and refused to let me switch schools. I started cutting and stealing pills to numb my pain. I got put into the hospital because i told my grandma, begged her for help, because I was thinking about killing myself. I didn't get any better when I got out. I was tired and lonely. I felt like it was me against the world. I wrote a note telling everybody how sorry I was and that I loved them, took 50 sleeping pills, and waited. i started hallucinating, I couldn't walk. it got hard to take deep breaths in and thought "this is it, it's finally ending." i let myself go to sleep. I saw nothing but colors and lights, and I woke up. everything was normal expect my eye sight was messed up. I didn't die, and I was mad. then I realized that there must be something bigger waiting for me to happen in my life. I had a reason to stay here and LIVE. i asked for more help, told my family, therapist, doctor, teachers, everything. how I felt. what I needed. what I've done. I got my help. I switched schools. not even a month later, I met my now fiancé. I started doing great in school, I made friends, my medicine was helping me so much, I was HAPPY. but I had to give myself the chance to be happy! eventually I found out I was pregnant. I had my daughter, now she's my reason to live. I know she needs me. I got post-partum depression after I had her, and as much as I wish I could live without medicine, I knew I needed it. I got put back on it, and here I am! if I've learned anything in the past several years is that in order to get the help you need, you have to be willing to ask for help. YOU NEED TO WANT TO HELP YOURSELF. I've been through it. nobody is alone in this fight. it's a serious illness. us mommies have to stick together and support each other! if anybody needs to talk, IM HERE. I cant promise I will solve all problems given to me, but I promise I will listen.