Постпартиум, одинокая мама 3 месяца: как жить дальше, если материнство не оправдало ожиданий?

PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU GET SENSITIVE ( I DONT WANNA OFFEND ANYONE ) I came on here to get a little bit of advice I am a teen single mom to my baby girl who is 3 months old before I found out I was pregnant I was in a relationship with my boyfriend at the time who was 18 and I was 16 we were on a ongoing relationship for 2 years I then found out I was pregnant me and him were both really shocked and nervous I right away just felt “off” he asked me if we were gonna keep it and I said yes right away not even thinking about it the next day I felt as if this was something I really couldn’t do I told my family my mom him my friends and everyone kinda went against it I came home from being with him and my whole entire family was in the front room waiting for me to make a decision this was all so much for me at the time they told me that I should keep it and that I’ll regret it but I still didn’t feel as if it was right but went along with it which was a mistake (not saying my daughter is ) I should’ve done what I really wanted to do cause I went through my pregnancy being so unhappy and everyone around me could tel without me saying nothing I was so lost and ashamed for being pregnant at a young age I was silently going through so much and preparing for something I didn’t really want and for my whole life to change then adoption came across my mind but was too scared of what my boyfriend would say cause he wanted this so bad with me so I still continued to go along unhappy I then decided I’ll give motherhood a chance and which I did I love my baby girl so much and being a mother is amazing but this isn’t what I really wanted or picked for myself I feel like I’m living the life everyone wanted me too I can’t even really see myself being a mother for much longer I want the best for my daughter and I know I’m just not as happy my boyfriend lives with his mom and dad and family and in a happy house hold then there’s me with jus my mom and sister and it’s starting to get very lonely I wanted a family I didn’t want to just be a baby mama and have a baby this isn’t what I really wanted for myself and ive been so lost lately ive went through so much and my boyfriend treated me so bad during pregnancy and post partum I just feel so out of it I don’t want to be a “deadbeat mom” cause that’s not the case I don’t have freinds I don’t party I don’t go out so I’m not doing this for that lifestyle but being a mother is getting hard on me and not what I wanted it’s not fair everyone around me lives the life they want while I feel like I’m living in a box me and my baby dad to split her she goes over there for 3 days also my baby dad left me two weeks post partum due too us not being the same he said he felt this way when I was pregnant but wanted to stay for our daughter I wish he would’ve told me cause I felt this way also all along but please give me advice I am so lost #postpartum #myfirstpost