Should I wait or escape now? Thoughts and fears about my situation

Question

I’m not seeing the change that I want in myself and in my surroundings. I am enrolled in school, I’m doing great. But thing is, I need a car just to take that next step. 
My original plan is to wait until our taxes hit in Feb or march at the latest because I apply in January, and buy me a SUV and DIP.

I’m not sure where I’m dipping to just yet though 😂😩 
I have a 11 year old (Homeschooled) 2 year old (3 in Feb) 1 year old (2 in April) and 4 month old. 
Yes I’m done.

I want to say I’m in a mentally/emotionally abusive marriage…but at the same time I be thinking I’m going crazy sometimes…then on the flip side, that’s actually yet another sign of emotional abuse. My 11 year old seems to agree so apparently I am. Sad right. 
I’m so isolated. I have no family to turn to. The family I do have (my mom) well she’s with this man (I’m not judging him) who’s on the predator list (accused of rape but his story is the girl told him she was over 18) and there’s no way in hell I’m even taking chances in that situation.

I feel like I’m order for me to know what to do, in order for me to put one foot in front of the other, I need to get the hell out! 
But I literally have nowhere to go.

So should I stick with my plan and when I get my vehicle, I dip and go to a woman’s shelter? 
I mean, I am isolated. Like..very isolated. 😐😞😞 I’m proud of myself for getting this far in school but it’s taking forever for January /February to come.

♡Samantha Neal♡ · Answer

I’m just going crazy like if I had a car rn I’d totally get a job lol I already spoke to dss and they can help with daycare vouchers

De'Shana Rose · Answer

I definitely understand you I have little to no help and I’m stressed

Mamabirdddd · Answer

At this point, school should be on the back burner and you should be working. You can’t rely on him to pay child support and life off welfare. School is not mandatory for a job and once you’re settled in somewhere else and divorce is final, then reapplying to school would be beneficial and going part time. But you are going to struggle hard if you don’t plan to work. It’s definitely a difficult situation but depending on your state laws you can’t just leave with your kids (assuming he’s their father) without permission either. You would need to file for divorce and get some type of custody before you take off with them.

Mamabirdddd · Answer

@sammyy, I mean you’re right but I didn’t know what “dip” totally meant to me that means leave/run away lol but if you have zero income and plan to use taxes for a vehicle, how do you expect to provide for yourself and your kids? A job should definitely be part of the plan and school should take a back seat while you figure things out.

♡Samantha Neal♡ · Answer

@momgroupreject, Oh yeah def! Lol I’m totally not running away like that. I meant dip as in dipping out of this house lol So I’m going to be getting a job after I get my suv when taxes come in. But I’m def still going to school. It’s just a must for me. I’m with a school where I can go at my own pace. I pay out of pocket but going at my own pace is the best for me. I just have to finish within a certain time frame like a year etc

♡Samantha Neal♡ · Answer

@momgroupreject, I didn’t mean to come off as rude lol

De'Shana Rose · Answer

And if you ever need a ear heart and shoulder my inbox is always open ❤️

♡Samantha Neal♡ · Answer

I am documenting everything btw. 
But can’t he use that against me in court. Like why didn’t u leave right then then etc. 
he wouldn’t fight for his kids anyhow. I know bc he has two he doesn’t see now

Should I wait or escape now? Thoughts and fears about my situation

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