What to do with my oldest child who constantly defies rules?

I’m really at a loss with my oldest. She’s literally always pushed boundaries a little and stuff but whatever she’s going through lately is draining me. I try so hard to be patient but at this point idk what I can do. She back talks constantly, I repeat myself literally 20+ times and she will straight look at me and continue doing whatever I’ve asked her not to do or if I have asked her to do something she will just repeat the same thing over and over to avoid doing it. She’s throwing tantrums and she’s swatting and/or kicking at people and things.

Ex: I was trying to put her sister down for a nap and told her to hangout in the living room for a min. She repeatedly opened the bedroom door so I told her to go sit in her room and play a minute well she then swatted at me and kicked the wall and screamed, then came back in making noise, I put us all in my bed cause I thought we’ll maybe she’s tired too or wants some cuddles but she just kept messing with her sister trying to keep her awake. I finally got the little one asleep and the oldest wanted to go back to the living room so I picked up the baby to put her in the playpen and the oldest started jumping on my bed (which she knows not to do anyways) which woke the little one back up. I was quietly telling her to go wait for me in the living room and she just kept jumping so I had to put the baby down and pick up the oldest and carry her to the living room.

Another ex: she had a spray bottle of water this morning and sprayed her sister in the face so I said please don’t spray her in the face she doesn’t like it and she proceeded to do it three more times so I asked her to put the spray bottle back up which she did not. She then started spraying the floor and I said again put the bottle back up you’re getting the floor wet and that could be dangerous and she kept spraying so I had to take it away from her and put it back up.

It’s like this literally all day long. I first thought it was jealousy from the youngest getting so much attention and I’m sure that’s still some of it but most of the time she’s acting like this even when I’m having one-on-one time or anything. It’s a CONSTANT battle with her. I’ve tried so many different discipline methods but literally nothing works. If I try timeout she just keeps getting up no matter how many times I put her back. If I take things away from her it’s like she doesn’t even care. If I send her to her room she comes back out. If I try to calmly talk to her about her emotions and actions she just talks over me and doesn’t listen. Idk what to do 😭