Well he is extremely young and if he also has autism then that definitely plays a role. Honestly I wouldn’t even bother at this point because it’s unnecessary stress. I know kids without autism that are 3.5 years old and still not potty training. Luckily my son started pretty early so he’s fully day trained right now but it’s pretty normal for kids to do it later.

He might not even be ready for potty training. The average age for autistics to be potty trained is 5 years old.

My autistic nephew was 4 years old before he would use the potty and that was only pee, it took another year before he stopped demanding a diaper to poop in.

My autistic daughter is 5 years old and only in the past 3 months has been potty trained.

We just took our time in our daughter's case, and talked about using the potty. I let her watch me use the potty and we read tons of potty training books and watched so many potty training videos. Then we worked on just getting used to just sitting on the potty with no expectations of actually using it.. We did all of those things for years and then when she was finally ready to grasp the concept I used sticker charts and little treats (we used little pokemon toys since she's not a fan of candy) then after 1 week of trying she got a bigger toy (stuffy pokemon) then at the end of the month we went to the store and she picked out a larger toy.

The 1st month was rough since she had to learn to recognize her body cues, but month 2 was better and by month 3 she was mostly accident free.

We have now moved to using the actual toilet instead of a potty chair and that was a bit of an adjustment. I realized she didn't like not having her feet touching the ground so I bought a squatty potty and that has worked wonders for her. I also bought a toliet seat that has a little kid seat built in so the seat is more stable when she climbs on and off.

It’s definitely a sensory issue which is going to take extra patience. When I say extra patience try possibly years...It was all about repetition to get used to the new feelings while not overdoing it so he didn’t completely reject it. After he got over that, it was freaking out when he actually peed or pooped in it. Then it was the understanding his little body cues because he wasn’t feeling his core as well which is definitely the Sensory Processing Disorder part of autism. It took several tries to get Zay trained and almost 2 years. Isaiah was 4.5 exactly when he trained. He still has accidents on occasion at 6. No kid on the spectrum is the same in that way. Having OT to work on his sensory helped him tremendously. They did a lot of playing that helped him learn his core. Even little things like spinning him in the office chair each direction 10 times is helping him find his little body in space. It’s not that they don’t know how, it’s all the feelings associated with the experience that make it take longer than what’s considered typical if that makes sense.

I know there’s that pressure to potty train. Family members, significant others, the budget, etc. I went through that and it sucks. You can’t give into any of that though and understand this is part of the autism journey. Once you understand that, and have patience with the process everyone will be happier and those that aren’t can kiss your ass. It’ll happen in time...,

Hmm do you think it’s a temperature thing with the seat being cold? Would he sit if the seat were covered in some other material?

Have you tried letting him have books or a small toy or even a tablet if he’ll sit on the seat bare-bottomed?

Let him squat on the toilet backwards if he will. It's strange looking but works. 😅 My boys preferred that over sitting, now that they're older they stand.

Can you get him on of those padded potty seats? Maybe that texture will be better?

Yeah he will sit down on it if he has a diaper or pants on.

Will he sit on the seat with clothing or a diaper/pull up on?